June 7, 2020
It’s exactly one year since we decided to cut ties to our almost 3 years relationship. That day, I can still remember how peacefully I slept that night but the pain starts to grow with the following days and months.
I can say that my battle to cope up with the pain that I’m dealing was never been easy -it never was. It feels like you wake up every morning to feel the damages inside your heart. It’s real, it’s valid, it feels like you can feel your heart literally aching but it was just the emotions inside your mind. And you can’t do nothing but to just endure every pain.
I’ve experienced so many breakdowns all through out the processs, overthinking, insomia and anxieties. I’m not dealing with just the pain. I’m questioning my self why, I’m questioning my worth. I’m questioning God and why He let these things happened to me.
But the question is, how? That all through out the year how I overcome the pain?
It is Him, it is God. It is God who heals me. It is God that even I can’t see Him I feel His comfort. It is God who taught me to forgive, not only him but most importantly myself. It is God who said I’m His masterpiece. It is God who said that I’m worthy. It is Him.
And I’m beyond grateful for His unconditional love, for His power to heal, for His way, for His perfect timing and for letting my heart understand that “I the Lord made it happen, trust me”. That it is no longer my plan but it is Your plan. It is Your will and it is the best for me.
And now I’m writing this with just a little tears from my eyes. But it is no longer the pain that holds me. It is the joy that I am healed. I can say that I am a living testimony that God heals.
Happy 1st Sunday of June!
God bless everyone 💕