At first, I was confused. Each time you enter the room, my heart would flutter at your presence. My eyes will begin to glimmer at the sight of you. My knees are buckling whenever you’re near, my voice will begin to shake every time you greet me good morning and the hundreds of ideas, words, metaphors I hide in my brain will suddenly vanish into thin air. In a snap, I’m lost for words.
I ask myself all the time why I feel like this. Is it just a simple admiration of how hardworking you are? Maybe I’m only inspired by your passion? Maybe I aspire to be you? But it seems like the universe gave me a slap and told me, “No, dumb-ass. You’re in love.” And that realization terrified and is still terrifying me.
Why does it have to be you? Of all people, why do I have to be in love with someone who greets me and the other students good morning? Why do I have to be in love with a person who treats me as a child? Why am I in love with my teacher?
I want to stop being in love with you but forgive me, I couldn’t control my heart. I wouldn’t do anything that can cause harm even though you turned my serenity into chaos. I wouldn’t risk anything to make you uncomfortable. Let me just admire you from afar and maybe one day.. one day, this too shall pass.
Forgive me but let me just keep asking myself. Of all roses, why does it have to be you?