“Di pa kasi ako Ready pumasok sa relationship”

Exact same words na sinabi nya sakin nung minsang maungkat namin yung usapang DTR. Siguro naman obvious na gusto ko talaga sya. Maybe its true when they say na Love is not blind but we love so much that we really cant see whats behind. ako po nagsabi nun.hahah Anyway, He did a lot of things that I thought some other guy cannot do. He was independent. He was into Sports and loved it. He was a good guy. He is sweet. He brings out the best in me and encourage me to embrace life again. He came when I was at my worst and encouraged me to  move on with my life. He used to say na sya daw yung STEPPING STONE ko at tutulungan nya ko makabalik sa buhay. but when asked, he said he is not ready for a relationship. and asked. bakit ba kasi kailangan pang idefine yun? eh. masaya naman tayo. Masaya ka naman di ba? and so I also asked. Do you mind if I date other guys? tutal di naman tayo..and what he replied broke my heart. He said. “It’s Okay”. So, things went on. Late night convos paalam kung saan pupunta. Intimate moments that turned to more and ended up getting bad. I have a heart condition so if i wanted a baby, its safer before i was thirty. So, I asked him and told him he would not be held responsible. Pero teka lang mga bes! hindi ko po ginawa. I cant do it. I cant have someone who’s barely there be the father of my child. Sometimes we want a relationship so much we become desperate of it.  I am desperate and so is my EX who is trying to get me back. True to life story to bes. walang halong biro, walang halong drama. My EX thinks we are on good terms. I dont know if iniisip nya na kami or something in between. It would hurt him if he read this. I hate to think that it would. Hindi ako naglalandi. I just fell inlove with an amazing guy and whenever Im with this other guy who i used to love so much all i could think about is this new guy who doesnt even want to be with me. To be fair, I told my EX that im in love with someone else. He refused to back down and told me that he will make me fall in love with him again. which he is terribly failing at, at the moment. or was it because, I had a taste of how i wanted to be treated and now the treatment that my EX did for me then and is doing now doesnt affect me anymore? Maraming Thoughts. And I prefer to be called SINGLE at the moment. Emotionally commited to a guy who doesnt want me and tied up with the past I dont want to go back in. One time I asked this guy, I dont know why I fell inlove with you. He told me, Maybe it was because of THE CHASE. he was something I cant have at the moment so i feel the challenge of getting to him more.