Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
October 9, 2021
Starbucks
I am sitting on the exact same spot where I saw you for the first time in two years. My heart was pounding so hard and the thought of seeing you again brought out so many emotions inside of me. I saw you from a taxi window. As much as I want to rush to Starbucks I had to go to the office to get my work from home equipment. I waited for about an hour to get them and I immediately went back only to find another person in your seat.
I went back the next day, I tried to come earlier but you weren’t there. I was here yesterday, and even tonight but still…NO SIGN OF YOU.
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I thought I’d get over you but the reality is, I wasn’t really able to embrace what I truly felt about you until recently. It’s been seven years since we met and two years since we last saw each other but I still think about you constantly. It took quite some time for me to know myself and understand my feelings and your feelings. It also took a while before I realized my mistakes and I know it might be too late. Although I have to admit, I am not closing my doors if you want me back in your life.
If you see me purely as a friend, if you don’t want anything to do with me, if you hate me, I totally understand. I am sorry for everything. You have only been sweet to me and I know you tried to compromise just so I could be happy. If you don’t want to see me or talk to me, it’s okay.
I’m sorry for not giving us the chance to get to know each other. I didn’t really open up myself to you because I was so focused on our differences, my parents’, your parents’ and other people’s opinions. We should’ve enjoyed that time together. It was my first time and I had all sorts of unrealistic expectations. Love should be about compromise and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to love you in the way you deserve.
I have never stopped thinking about you and I know I haven’t moved on. Maybe you already have. If God wants us to meet again, He would make a way. I know I already did and I would always miss the chance to see you.
Maybe we’re not meant to see each other now. Maybe we’re not really meant to be together. I feel as if it’s beyond my control anymore, so I just pray. I pray for you and I pray for God’s best for us.
I am hoping for the best. If we really are for each other, I hope I could love you and make it up to you. If we’re not, I hope to remember you and our memories with fondness and joy.
Always,
Your First Love
