I was blessed to have the chance to go home. I was so impressed by how my home town evolved at such a very short span of time. I was happy to meet with some new-old friends of mine (new, because they too have their own changes; Old, because they have been my friends for a very long, long time.). More so, I was happy to being just spending most of my time at home (watching movies & eating most of the time) with my ever loved Family.
The reasons why I wrote this are: First, Someone encourage me to do something new this year and I think that it is a very good Idea because I will be exploring other skills that I have. whoopee! Second, I had such a peaceful time at home I got the chance to reflect on a lot of things mostly about values & relationship. I am pretty sure that many have written about values & relationships and some of the points I’ll be giving have already been discussed. Whatever I’ve written here is still subject to change (right kind) cause I can admit that I am no expert on relationships. Loves!
These are the things that I am reminded of because of my vacay. So, rock on.
- In a Relationship with Him/Her.
Relationships flourish if it is valued at a right kind of way with the right kind of thinking. Right kind of way because we sometimes think putting value on something requires only money or time or material things or just being there. Relationships are more than that. I got this notion that relationships are easy to have but hard to sustain if both parties’ values don’t collide.
The Google dictionary defines value as “the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.” Someone’s value is connected to the one who values them, but we try to search/beg/ask/demand for it from the wrong people. Some of us took us longer to get out/get over or a wrong relationship because we thought that our value is only limited to that relationship or to that person. I’ve had a wrong mindset that the one thing that will complete me is a relationship with a boy. I later on learned the hard way what Ate Mye said,“that you don’t go to a relationship to be complete but you go into a relationship because you are already complete.” You see unless a person knows His/Her true value before going into a relationship, that relationship will not work out properly.
One will be frustrated by how little the other exert effort to work things out, the other will clamour on how clingy and demanding the other is.
They will never meet, not even halfway. People who don’t know their true value will never value things the way people who knows their value.
- Within the Family.
A good relationship with his/her parents speaks a lot of how well a child will grow up. Parents are the ones who will in-store values to a child. Whatever the Parents values, it will be valued by the child most likely. How the parents values a child will affect the child’s relationships when he/she grows up. It is still a cycle. A parent who doesn’t know his/her true value will not influence good values to his/her child and thus their relationship suffers.
We Filipinos have this culture of the more the merrier family. As the eldest I get to have this attitude of being responsible of a lot of things, even to the point of stepping in to may parent’s shoes. That is not a right perspective. I am now learning what kind of battles I have to fight.
In a relationship you must also learn what kind of battles you have to face, and a battle with your parents and siblings are not one of them. We are called to Honour our parents and love our siblings, if we fail to love the ones who are of blood how can we love and give the same respect to others. Some may temporarily do that but as son as familiarity steps in, so is the kind of attitude He/she shows at home. Parents have crucial responsibility to raise their kids to be the kind of people who value the depths and not the shallow, and there’s always something depth in the simple things in life. And I love my simple family. Not perfect, but They are enough melting for.
I met my Long term friends recently. It’s as if we’ve just met yesterday. We may have talked about a different kind of topic but the eagerness and the comfortable feeling of a friend didn’t change. I value the kind of friends who even for a long time sticks with you, whether communication is lost or not. There’s some kind of security in that kind of relationship, a kind that is not demanding nor expectant.
A quote says, “Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.” But why do I have a crazy, wise, gentle, shy, dangerous, weird, quirky friends? Unless.. Individually they have a different kind of character, attitude and we all have this weird relationship. Just let me call it weird, I am so happy that after all these years they helped me battle through almost everything. Thank you for standing with me when I am weak. Thank you for speaking the truth to me even though it might sting a bit. Thanks for the honour to be friends with you.
I guess I have more to say but I have to close this with the most important value I have.
When my past relationship ended, It was hard. I have to give up meeting with some people I value just to move on from that. Some of my friends stayed and helped me, but one truth stand out. I got out fast, I recovered fast because I realised that my true value is connected to the one who knows no end, To the one who gave up his life for me. I had an encounter that forever changed my life. I encountered Jesus. The only one who got me through all the pain even after that broken relationship and all other relationships. Who restored my way of thinking that my Value is connected to how He died on the cross for me, and that even though how much other people devalue me, my value stays the same and it is irrevocable. It never changes no matter what I do. I can run away but He is a stubborn God, He pursues you. He loves you. Never let’s you go. His love is so mysterious that you may find it in your darkest of your days, and He is the only one who stays.
A person who doesn’t know His/Her value will forever be settling for less not because of how much other people value them, but because they missed their true value. Your value is in Jesus. I pray that one of these days you’ll have an encounter with that truth and may you be set free from the Lies that you are less. You are enough, always have. To you who have encountered Him, may you reach the fullness of joy that his love gives.