We, as humans, make mistakes and do bad things most of the time. I always wonder how other people are so passionate about serving the Lord and giving their whole lives for Him. When I was in high school, I always thought that being active in church and living for Christ was boring. I wanted to be admirable and beautiful in the eyes of boys. I wanted to do my best because I know a lot of people are watching me, and I don’t want to disappoint them. All of the worldly desires—that’s what I love to pursue, and I live for world satisfaction. Every time I decide it should be for people’s acceptance, everything I desire is for boys, including materials and trends. I remember telling myself before that I was okay physically and that it was enough for me to keep going. But I know that I am not okay mentally and spiritually. I hurt people most of the time when they’re around me.I hurt them in a way that satisfied my anger and emptiness. I’ve been hurt by a guy who I loved the most.And at that time, I couldn’t accept what he did to me. how he slips away and easily finds someone he thinks is better than me. That’s when I do bad things.I find someone too difficult to love and be committed to. I find someone to fill the emptiness in my heart, so maybe somehow I can heal. But then it didn’t work. And the situation continued.Until everyone around me turned their backs on me. It hurts so much. I seek attention, but then here I am. Alone.
Until God moves in my life…..
It came to my mind to watch the video of a pastor who preached about “How can I go back to the Lord?” It was just a random moment alone, and I came up with that idea. I know for sure that God led me to that YouTube video for a reason. I watch all the episodes of the Pastora, and every time she prays, I cry and cry, and I didn’t notice that it’s already 3 a.m. in the morning. I just felt the peace in my heart that was lacking before. It’s like I found comfort in those 45-minute videos and episodes. Then I prayed and cried again to the Lord. I cry to the Lord to take away all my worries, anger, burden, and ungratefulness from my heart. Keep me at peace.Help me overcome this, Oh Lord. That is the first time I have bowed my head, kneeled to Him, and begged for grace and forgiveness. That’s how God works.That’s how good God is. I keep wanting for attention before, but then He is the only one who can satisfy my soul. After that, everything is not going easy for me; there are times when I don’t feel like studying and getting to know Him more. But one thing I know for sure is that when we feel cold in our faith,
Just pray; you will never know what He will reveal to you when you’re communicating with Him. Pray Pray. That will help us grow our personal relationship with Him. God will do His part to help you keep the fire in your heart. He never abandoned me. He teaches me how He works in our lives. He sees me in my broken days and lets me see Him.
Sometimes we don’t know what’s happening in our lives. Maybe broken plans, ungratefulness, heartbreak, or unanswered prayers Let’s keep the faith and trust the Lord. We all have a purpose, and there is a reason why He lets things happen in our lives. Let the fire burn for serving the Lord to glorify Him every day.
He loves the most vulnerable person.Just go back to him and let him work in your life.He changes me and transforms me. Before, I never thought I would be like this. But we all know that nothing is impossible for our Lord Jesus Christ. Trust Him, because the Lord that we serve is faithful and just. He knows all knowledge, and He is able to do extraordinary things in our lives. When we trust his ways in our lives, we know that it will end up for the good, and it is comforting to know that everything that has happened has always been under the control of God.
I understand His ways, and the pain I felt before that has made me humble now is really worth it. Now, every time I’m going through something, I always think that God is moving in my life, and I’m still thankful because those uncomfortable moments, those trials, those pains—all of those I know for sure have a great and powerful God behind them. I am not afraid to go through difficulties because I’m not alone. I went through mountains and valleys, and I overcame them with the Lord.