LONG POST AHEAD. Magsasalita na ko para sa mga atat na magkajowa na ko. 😂 Hope to inspire others as well.
People keep on asking me “BA’T WALA KA PARING BF?” It’s actually my choice to stay single for 7 years & they can’t just believe it. But trust me, it was definitely a ride. At first, I was scared because I used to have a boyfriend. But as the years go by, there’s that something in me that I felt like I really wanted to have someone. So, I tried to entertain guys.
I met this guy way back 2014. He’s my workmate. We became friends but we don’t talk that much & we’re not that close. After a month, I resigned ‘coz I had to focus in my Practice Teaching first. Then in 2016, he chat me all of a sudden with a “Hi, ma’am Maan. Kumusta na?” And that’s how we started talking. We usually hang out & used to talk 24/7 for 6 months. He’s kind, sweet, funny, caring, that made me fall for him. And when he knew that I fell, he just told me that “SORRY, PERO DI PA KASE AKO READY.” I was hurt kaya I avoided him.
2017. My curiousity brought me to Tinder, so I created an account. At first, puro lang ako swipe left kase I felt belittle knowing na galing sila sa sikat na school tas mga RK pa. Then I decided to swipe right na. Kaka-swipe right ko, may naka-match ako. We used to talk everyday for a month & went out twice. It’s my 1st time makipagmeet sa di ko kilala & tiwala naman akong mabait siya. He’s an Engineer & came from Ateneo. He’s cute, chinito, tall, funny & then he confessed that HE’S already ENGAGED. Okay? So, iwas ulit ako.
Random guys have tried to get my attention. Some confessed that they like me pero that’s it, wala ng next move. There were some who made me fall for them with their sweet words but in the end, I’d find out that it meant nothing. That I was only assuming things that never existed in the first place. MGA PA-FALL! And there were also some who totally pursued me but because of what I’ve experienced, I chose to dump them. I got scared. Since then, trusting someone became my issue & you can’t blame me for that.
I can’t help but to ask myself “what have I done wrong to deserve those unworthy heartaches?” I got tired to get attached to guys anymore. I learned that maybe I should stop looking for a GUY & patiently wait for a MAN. At some point I also realized that maybe this is the best time for me to love myself first, work on me to become a better version of me & find my inner strength. So when the time comes, I’m mentally & emotionally prepared to fall in love again. Now, I’m starting to build walls to protect myself from any pain. God knows who & what’s best for me. I only need to trust His timing during my waiting game. No matter how long it takes, I WILL WAIT. I believe that God’s timing can never be early or late, it is always on time. Kalmahan lang natin. And besides, staying single doesn’t mean I’m lonely. Honestly, I’m grateful to have a family & friends who are always there for me. Happiness is not about getting what you want all the time. It’s about loving what you have & being grateful for it. ☺ xxx