“How are you?” I remember this is how we used to always start our letters for one another.
Now, I just want to say to you that your smile means a lot to me and your happiness is my happiness too. I praise God for your healing. May He restore your health fully.
Sometimes, I cry to God and ask Him how can He be so unfair, I was the one with you in all the struggles life threw at you and now that you are okay, you left me and go on without me in it. I cry because I felt like we’ve grown together only for you to be someone else’s life partner.
In every place we’ve been together, I still remember you, my memories with you, our memories together, and the promises we’ve made for one another. I’d lie if I say there are days I didn’t cry missing you and the love we’ve shared together. But what can I do, Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21 NIV (My life verse, every time someone asks me.)
Know that so much I love you still. But I can now only love you from afar. Even with every broken piece of my heart for loving you, this very part of me, still shouts for you, beats for you, and prays you’ll still want to own it, to care for it. But I know God loves you more than I do.
Each morning I wake up and pray, that the Lord our God will cover you with His precious blood, that He’ll protect you always and keep you away from temptation and attacks of the evil ones. And He never fails.
I know He is pursuing us both and wants only the best for us. We may not always understand His ways, like wanting two people who used to love each other so much for so long be parted. But we are not made to understand everything. We are made to be His witness, of how in Him we overcome this season of hurting.
All I can do now is trust Him, focus on His graces and cling on His love as I go on with healing this broken heart.
Sad that you left me. Sad that you didn’t choose to fight the succeeding battles with me. Sad that I can no longer walk with you in faith like how we used to want to. Sad that the front-seat privilege for me to witness your growth with the Lord was taken away instantly but now that I see you happy, getting the freedom you asked from me, I pray to God to heal this pain in me completely. When the time is right, I know the Lord will make it happen. The least one shall become a clan, and the smallest one a mighty nation; I am the Lord; in its time I will hasten it. Isaiah 60:22 ESV
To the man who broke my heart, thank you. Thank you for asking me to finally let go of you. Thank you for everything. You’ll always have a special place inside my heart. I love you.