I always wanted to be a BRIDE someday.
A bride not a wife.
It was crystal clear in my mind and in my heart. I just wanted to be a bride without the responsibilities and duties after the event. I was the type of girl good for the wedding and not marriage. A picture perfect bride was my dream. I never even considered who the groom will be as long as I will become a bride. Fantasy overpowered the reality of my life when it comes to this matter. I was defeated by the world’s lies and deceptions regarding this HOLY UNION.
This continued not until God made me the ‘BIBLE BEARER.’
In a wedding, everyone’s eyes are on the bride and not on the bible bearer. Usually, the one carrying the bible are children, never an adult and never the bride. The bride always carries her favorite flowers walking at that aisle with grace and beauty. While the bible bearer walks first before the bride, no one really pays attention to the child carrying it unless the child cries and does trantrums while walking. Haha. And then the bible, where is it after the child finishes his/her walk? See, no one pays attention.
Even I, whom God mercifully allowed to know Him, do not know the importance of the bible in a wedding or rather in a marriage. That’s because I am so focused on how will I look and how will I walk imagining all of these even without having a boyfriend or fiance. Hahaha. Silly me. How can I be a bride without a groom? See, I am going ahead on God’s plans for me. And because God is good, He stopped me for destroying myself with this fantasy.
God gave me a very long supernatural time to walk with Him alone during this pandemic. As we walk, He thought me many things I did not know. He guided me to beautiful paths, showered me with refreshing rains, made me drink the living water and drenched me in His bottomless ocean of grace. God gave me wisdom the world could never teach, He gave me knowledge to His unknown and gave me an obeying heart to follow Him in His Word. God strengthen my hearing and my seeing that it is only Him whom I saw and heard during our walk. Imagine walking not seeing yourself but only seeing the person ahead, behind and beside you. That is the kind of walk only God could do. A holy God who surrounds you in your every steps and instructs you where you will go.
He is a really good good God.
And then at end of our walk together in His presence, as I went near to the entrance of this physical world, I did not see God anymore but was surprised that I was carrying the Bible unconsciously all throughout our walk together. Oh… I was the BIBLE BEARER. Not the bride but the bible bearer. God made me a bible bearer. And this was the essence, the importance, the significance of carrying the bible and that is not me carrying but God is really the one carrying me!And because of that, because of how God is so faithful to me even I am faithless, I’ve let go of my dream to be a bride someday but now chose to obey God on how to be a GODLY WIFE. God awakened me and so I wait on His will.
I wait on His leading.
I wait on His favor.
I wait on His good purpose for me.
And I wait on His Word.
Thank you Holy Spirit for your writing. Thank You Lord Jesus for the awakening. Thank You Father for being the best father in this universe.