“Cheating turned to happiness: I stopped dwelling on my past and started being excited of my future”
Honey, we started lowkey but happy. We’ve always adore each other. Would always find time to ask one another how our day went amidst our busy schedule. We were happy even on small things, on silly conversations. We we’re happy. We went through so many ups and downs, but still, we we’re happy.
But time came when we no longer understood the busy schedule of each other. We started demanding time. More problems arose until we ended up being unhappy. We broke up.
Time passed by, until we gave again our love a chance. But that time, you were no longer the old you. Coldness and miscommunication were ALWAYS present. We broke up again, then we gave it another try. For multiple times I let you in in my life though it seemed to be a cycle that we’ll break up and be in good terms again because I thought you we’re just really busy. But for all the moments you chose to be in that way, I would always end up soaking my pillows with tears at night. But it was okay. Really okay. Not until I found out that you were cheating on me. You weren’t faithful since the first break up that we had. You admitted your fault. But honey, your girls didn’t hurt me. What hurt me is the fact when you told me to just trust you. TRUST. So, until when we’re you planning to make me trust you while you are at the same time cheating on me?
I’m sorry honey if at first I was really mad at you because it really pained me. So much. For consecutive nights, I had nothing to do but cry and think about what happened. But along the process, I learned that I shouldn’t be mad at you but be thankful instead. Because through that, I was able to know that there are sooo much things to improve with myself.
Then there, I was able to gather up myself again. Ready to move on.
“I stopped dwelling on my past and started being excited of my future.”
I stopped dwelling on the thought that I am not enough and started being obsessed on how God looks at me. I learned that in His eyes, I am not as precious as jewel because I am more than those. He looks at me intently and closely. Yes, he sees my great attributes but He also sees my flaws and all and yet, still loves me the same. I am His most precious princess.
I stopped dwelling on the pain and started being excited of the joy waiting ahead of me. That my happiness doesn’t have to depend on you. There are so much things and relationships to focus on apart from you. Family, goals, friends and of course God.
I stopped dwelling on you and started being excited of my future husband. No longer boyfriend because I want to make it definite to myself that the next will be my last. That for now, I should establish first my relationship with the most important man that I should have in my life-JESUS. If before, I would always try to care for you, demand for your time and love you genuinely, right now, my goal is to do all those things to the man who cares so much about me. The man who has all the time and love because he himself is the maker of those. And the next time I love a man on earth is when He says so. For by that moment, I am so sure that he really is the one for me. That he will love me like how God loves me. Unconditional. Not transactional. Unending. Pure.
Isn’t that so exciting?