We all experience broken hearts minsan sa talambuhay natin. May mga pagkakataon na wala lang sa atin, may mga pagkakataon na sinasabi na lang natin na “kung ayaw mo, huwag mo…” at may mga pagkakataon din na sobra tayong nasasaktan, na kulang na lang magmakaawa tayo. Lahat pwede mangyari, hindi natin alam kung bakit at kung paano pero sumatutal, masakit.
Syempre, kapag nagmamahal tayo, naglalaan tayo ng oras, panahon, pagkakataon at kung ano ano pa, kaya masakit kahit saang banda mo tingnan. May mga pagkakataon na makikipag tawaran tayo kumbaga, bargaining; yung tipong lahat gagawin mo bumalik lang sya sa’yo at muli kayong magsimula. There are stages of coping up with broken heart – para ka rin kasi namatayan, sa case mo, relasyon. Stage 1 is denial, then regret and blaming, then bargaining, and last is acceptance and moving forward. Dun tayo magfocus sa bargaining. Heto ang tanong, naranasan mo na bang makipagtawaran sa palengke? Ganun din ang logic nun.
Bargaining is somewhat leveling down yourself for the sake of gaining what you want – kabaligtaran yan ng auction which is pataasan ng bid. This applies in all types of relationship, even sa friendship at sa ligawan season. Alam natin na ganun ung logic ng bargaining pero bakit ginagawa natin? Walang sisisi sa’yo kasi kasama sa pagmamahal ang lunukin mo ang pride mo. Pero hanggang kailan ba dapat?
What do we do in bargaining? We usually do some self-assessment; always asking what went wrong?? “Ano ba ung hindi ko nagawa?” “Ano ba ung nagawa ko na hindi dapat?” at kung ano-ano pa. There are times that we asses ourselves wrongly, setting aside our values, our assets and our advantages. Madalas ganun ang analysis natin, to the extent that we overthink big time. Then we do some begging and we will present ung assessment natin for the bargaining. At the end, either we get a second chance or no effect.
Bargaining technically is not bad, especially if you know your boundaries. If it is not glorifying God, don’t bargain. How will you know your boundaries. Three factors, as long as your self-worth, self-respect, your purpose in life is not compromise. If either one of those will be compromise, stop bargaining. You know your worth, you are paid with a price, you know your worth in God. You have your purpose in God and most important, save your self-respect – save it please. You don’t have to degrade yourself. I understand you want to save the relationship but save yourself first. Do yourself a favor. If you really want to do it, ask God first before doing anything, bago mo sabihing “sana ako na lang, sana ako na lang ulet…”
