It has been months since I have felt the hurt. Though, sometimes the pain lingers but it’s not the same as before. Many have asked me why I did not fight back or give a statement about it. Why did I just let it go like nothing has happened? Why it is easy for me to forgive despite everything? They kept on telling me that I should have at least my stand. However, I kept my silence.
For the past months, I learned a lot of things. First is to surrender. Surrendering didn’t mean you’re weak but it means you trust and acknowledge the One whom you have surrendered it all. I surrender it to God in prayers. Prayer helped me a lot in this process. Second, to keep silent. Of course, I have surrendered it all to God in my prayers so what you need to do is to be silent. They said, there are things better left unsaid. It is true. Let God do the working of those prayers. Third, to continue. Yes! Continue living. After what had happened, I didn’t know what to do but God reminded me that I am living for Him and not for him. The world is a vast place and full of His greatest wonders. Instead of just sitting in the corner and crying God brought me to places that showed me what I had missed throughout. Fourth, is to value. I learned to value what I didn’t see when I was still with him. I forgot the friendships and God. It is an embarrassing moment after forgetting them, they’re the first one whom I had ran to. But I guess, that’s a lesson. Fifth, forgive. During one of the church service I had attended, the preacher once said, ” If we forgive, we freed ourselves from it and from people who kept on holding us in our memories.” Forgiving might be not that easy. In some instances, I asked God why I need to forgive those who have hurt me and why I can’t fight back? But God is a the greatest example of forgiveness in John 3:16. Lastly, I learned to love again. A love that is unconditional. A love that brought not only happiness and joy but also peace in my heart. Love that I have never experienced before. Love that made my whole heart again. I found it to Him. Him who showed the greatest love of all.
So don’t cry over spilled milk. Things happened for a reason. It might be a lesson or test or can be both. However, God works in its own way.
“Once I was broken
But You loved my whole heart through
Sin has no hold on me
‘Cause Your grace holds me now”
- Whole Heart by Hillsong.
