I was afraid that I can’t make it. I am tired of faking all of it. I was so happy now and later I feel empty I feel broken from the inside yet I try to make it I am sad, Yes but I try to make sense out of nothing. I wanna cry out loud but it seems that no one will hear me.I wanna shout the pain to ease it but I can’t do it. I always have that something that keeps on, Something that keeps on slowing me down. God, I swear I wanna escape! All I want to do is to escape away from the pain!Please, I wanna end this pain and agony!I can’t understand anymore this feeling of nothingness.I feel exhausted and I don’t know how to soothe this.
They all said I was just afraid and tired. They said it was all just in my mind. Hey! I’m not crazy, I am empty!I don’t want this but I don’t know how to stop! The demon keeps on coming and he would say”You can be happy so come with me” All I can think of is to end this life of mine.When I think about it, I feel hopeful. Hopeful that I will be happy after Hopeful that I can escape for a while Hopeful that it will numb the being of me And I am hopeful it will vanish my darkness But it seems that I will always keep on coming back Keeps on coming back into the darkness.
I am lost and I don’t know where should I go.I always wanted to go out there I always want to cross over different path But Why I can’t? Why can’t I just be happy?Every time I thought of jumping off, I still have my cold feet. I still have the thought if the people will be happy for me? I still want them to be happy for me even if i’ll be gone I want them to understand that it’s kinda hard for me I want them to know how in pain I am now And this is the only way for me to end it.I’m afraid I can’t make them proud. I’m petrified that I’ll bring them sorrowAnd it causes my demon to trouble me again. But I don’t know what to do now!Oh God I’m cold, troubled and panic stricken.
My sanity is at stake when I got this sickness. Trust me, I’m trying to make all thing easier but it’s not dong well.I kinda want to poison myself so I can be at peace. I just need someone to understand what I’ve been through. Oh please don’t push me too hard or I’ll pull the trigger of this gunI can end it here and I will be happy then (or Shall I be?)My thought and my heart is empty. I’m floating in the midst of nothingnessOh, No, my head is flowing and floating and I feel nothing I swear I wanna go back to what I am But my demon keeps on holding me I am at the cell and it won’t let me escape and the fill the hole within me is to take the poison And everything will be okay.