I am someone who never believed in love or should I say, no longer believed in love.
For all the heartaches that I experienced, for all the tears I shed to those guys who never really cared and who didn’t see my worth.,
I have come to accept that maybe just maybe, I’m better off alone.
I’m better just to be with myself, friends, and family.
but somehow, even I come to realize that I am only convincing myself, saying that I don’t need a man in my life.
Saying that I am smart independent woman.
But then, there are really those times where how I wished there’s someone i can share my thoughts, happiness and sadness with.
I tried to convince myself that I am happy, but deep inside am truly not.
You can see me smiling, but my eyes says otherwise.
You see me laughing but my soul is not.
I try to enjoy myself traveling with friends, do some fun activities but then at the end of the day when I go to bed, I still feel empty..,
and that’s been going on for years..,
and then one time, i remembered something that my friend told me about.
“Pray that you’ll meet someone who will really cherish you but you really have to be specific so that the universe won’t get confused on what kind of man they will give to you” .
so that’s what i did.
I prayed saying, ” Lord, love is really not my priority right now, but if you’ll led me to that person then I’ll gladly accept it. They said I need to be specific on what I really like. So , lord what I want in a man are these:
- if we talk about physical, then a man with :
*broad shoulders – (someone I can lean on) ,
*tall – so that he can hug me completely, i can hear his heart beating and he’ll kiss the top of my head. - and on the emotional side:
- I need a man who really share the same values that I have in life.
- A man who share same interests, not necessarily everything but somehow who’s willing to compromise and do things I love.
- Someone who would really love me for me.
- Someone who would accept all my flaws, someone who willingly accepts my past, the past that somehow i am not proud of doing but proud that i overcome it.
- Someone who doesn’t only love me but also my family.
- Someone who will cherish me everyday and who’s thankful that i came to his life. Amen”
And so I ended my prayer.
and that went on day by day..
and out of nowhere, this man came to my life without notice.
my schoolmate from high school that I never ever had a close encounter. We never had a chance to talk to each other before.
I only knew him because he’s my classmate’s boyfriend. I knew that they were together for so long but they broke up years ago and been single for 3 years now! what a coincidence since I’ve been single for 3 years too!
(as they say, there’s really no such thing as coincidence but only destined to meet each other for a reason, at the right moment)
we started talking everyday and yes out of nowhere again, our feelings developed for each other.
we realized that we are each other’s answered prayers.
I prayed for someone who will love me genuinely and he prayed for someone who deserved to be loved and deserves his love.
He accepted all of me, my flaws, my shortcomings and even love me more knowing about my past.
And i love him for that, for making me feel that I deserve to be loved and not be hurt or cheated on.
and the rest is history..
So, my message to all women out there who also lost the courage to love again or who no longer believe in love.
Who’s been hurt many times, whatever that is..
Just know that there is really someone for you. Just say a prayer and be really specific on what you need in a man and He’ll surely give it to you.
Don’t rush, don’t question Him if that someone is taking a bit long. Just trust in the process and trust that in His perfect time, you’ll surely meet the one you so deserved.
For now, be a best version of yourself so when that person comes, you are both ready for each other.
Always remember that you are blessed, and you deserve the very best.