People think that I have been single for so long. For a time, I have believed in this too. But years went by and I started to realize that I am not really single. Truth is, I am having an affair with myself.
I smile when I get asked by people why am I still single. I have to admit, it makes me worry at times. I didn’t really see the need to feel the pressure of being in a relationship. But well, it’s true that it gets lonely at times. I am not complaining though. I believe that whoever he is that I am praying for, he will come. Maybe not now, but soon. Soon, when I am ready. Soon, when he is ready too. At the moment, I am embracing the exciting affair I have with myself.
To be honest, this affair is probably the most liberating of all. The joy of being single is uplifting and contradicting at the same time. You love being free, but you also love being directed. You love not having someone to agree or disagree with your decisions in life, but you love having someone to tell you what’s best for you. You love doing things on your own way at your own pace, but you also love being with someone who goes his way to support and cheer you up with your dreams. You love being independent, but you also love being held and taken cared of. You love being alone, but you also wish for someone who never makes you feel alone at all. It’s funny, but all of these makes me cringe and thrilled mostly.
Don’t get me wrong. This is not a desperate attempt to find him. His season is not mine yet. Perhaps, like me, he still belongs to himself. Or maybe, he belongs to someone else. But whether or not he is having an affair with himself or with others, point is, God’s timing has not yet made its way on to us. I firmly believe that God’s time comes like a well-crafted revelation. Never too early, never too late. Always, just on time. Always, a sweet surprise.
I am grateful with the affair I have with myself right now. It’s all about self-discovery, self-care, self-worth, and self-love. It may sound selfish for some, but come on, you cannot give what you do not have. I am just excited for what God has in store for me in the future. And as He entrusts me this season, I am making the most out of it. This is me, patiently waiting and trying to be the best version of myself.