I hope it was me, someone you lean on
I hope it was me, a shoulder you cry on
I hope is was me, someone to share your pain with
I hope it was me, listening to your rants about someone who hurts you
I hope it was me, seating there beside you
I hope it was me, crying with you
But all of this are just hopes that I know will never come in between us and that is what truly pains me knowing that the more I care about you the more that I can’t do anything about it and the more distant we become on each other, because it might turn out to be that it was me who makes you needed someone I hope it was me.
We started as a complete stranger to each other, years passed by we attend on the same church and we barely share even a glance but our experiences gives us a chance to meet halfway. You were hurting at that time while I was healing. You were seating alone and I saw the look in your eyes I had before while I was hurting and have no one to share with and so I approached you and asked this question to you while wearing my best smile “Masaya ka naman ngayon?” Whilst I know that you are not, and then you suddenly start talking like we friends for a long time even though it is the only time I started talking to you. That day we had coffee outside and I know that I met a new friend.Days and months we had conversations and learning from each other’s experiences little did I know that I started to see you as more than a friend to me but I kept this to myself because it might just be because of me healing alone from my past relationship and then you came to make me feel I was not alone anymore. But as time goes by we suddenly become distant to each other, we still talk to each other but I know there’s something in between us now and it feels like we are both building walls between us for us not to fall for the uncertain feelings we had for each other. Then we finally stop talking but we are still on the same circle of friends built by the same reason we met each other. Now it’s hard to talk to you like before even though I have so much to share to you.
So I miss the days that we are so comfortable with each other sharing all the pain we had from the past. After a long while I finally met someone who truly understands me when even I can’t understand myself and I know it’s the same for you too. All the talks we had while walking on streets, late night conversations, good mornings and good nights.
Now I just know that the walls between us is very thick that I cannot enter anymore when I want to be there when you feel lonely, when you are hurting and to celebrate with your small and big victories. Walls that I know I can break but chose not to because now I know you already have someone besides you. It hurts me but I am happy seeing you with someone who was me before.
Now it seems like the situation change from the moment we met to this moment we departed from each other, now I am one that is hurting and your the one that is healed.