IF I COULD LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN

If I will be given a chance to fall in love for the first time again, I will surely take that chance to fall in love with myself first.

I will learn how to look in mirror without judging or hating the person that I see in front of me. I will stare at the cold reflection until I felt the warmth inside my heart because for the first time, I can say I am beautiful.

I will teach myself the importance of ‘inner peace’ by being at peace with me, myself alone. I had learned to date myself a little late while I was growing up, but if I could learn it as early as possible, definitely I would! Because by being alone with myself for the longest time, I came to realized that it is the BEST time for me to know about ME more and more — And I can say that knowing a lot of things about thyself is the key for everyone of us to learn to love ourselves the way we deserve to be love.

Because if you’ve been living in a kind of life wherein everyone and everything else matters except you then it will be hard for you to notice the good in you and because you never felt “enough” not for once.

Every day, I will affirm myself by saying ‘you did it’ or ‘you can do better next time’ but never would I say again that I am a ‘failure’ or I am ‘worthless’ – never, again. And never would I be sorry again for being me. Never, ever. Because I now understand that I have my own uniqueness and out of all the billions of people since the beginning of time, there has never been, and never will be another ME.

Instead of writing the things I want or others want to change about me, I will make a long list about the things I love about me and about the things people love about me, so I can remind myself all the time that I am worth it of love and I don’t need to prove it to anyone neither I don’t need anyone to prove it to me; because if God the King of all kings created me and spent time on every detail I now carry inside-out, then what or who else could be better than to be alike of His own image?

Also, I will ALWAYS tell myself that it is okay to be not okay and that it’s okay to be sad yet I should not let sadness consume me. I will let myself understand that sometimes, people has to leave not because it was easy to leave me behind or I am easy to forget but because they simply don’t belong in my life anymore. No other reason. And even if it hurts, and it seems impossible, I would have to let go immediately.

Lastly, I will teach myself to take care of myself. I will teach myself to become my own hero. I’ve been saving lots of people for so long while waiting for someone to save me too but in the end, it was me who needed me and it was only me who can save me.

If I could reeducate myself how to love for the first time again, I will teach myself to love the person I should have loved from the start, and that person is ME. I will definitely love myself so much — that I won’t need anyone to do it on my behalf.