My Lonely

Let me introduce you to my lonely

Hey this is my lonely

It chooses no time nor place

It chooses no memories nor pain

It doesn’t matter if it’s 2am or not

Sometimes my lonely visits me even when the sun is still brightly shining

It turns days to nights

It never fails to make me feel gloomy

Hey this is my lonely

It knocks on my door but I refuse let it in

However, it seems to have a key

It will slowly open the door to my mind and will slide into my thoughts

It won’t let me sleep no matter how many sleeping pills I take

No matter how many sheep I try to count

Hey this is my lonely

It never fails to keep me awake and feel worse about myself

It always reminds me of the things I can’t do, of the things I’m scared to do

It’s as if it whispers to me “you are not capable of doing that” or “you are a coward”

Hey this my lonely

Everyday when it visits me I cry myself to sleep

When it visits me I don’t know what to feel

Sometimes it also makes me not want to feel things anymore

Hey this is my lonely

It refrains me from speaking to others and telling them about it

It speaks at the back of my mind saying “when they ask you if you are okay, tell them you are”

It is selfish for not letting me tell others how I really feel

Hey this is my lonely

It’s like a thief stealing all the happiness I have

All the joy I left for myself, all the confidence I took years to earn, all the love I gave myself

It leaves nothing but traces of coming back

Of taking what’s still left of me

Hey this is my lonely

It keeps me company but not a good one

It makes me feel that it is a friend but in reality it’s a foe

It fights with my happy and always ends up triumphant

This lonely is a battle I always lose

A battle I never win even when I try

Hey this my lonely

I’m tired

Please take it away from me

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