When your almost relationship ends, it can feel like everything you’ve grown to believe is a lie. It can feel like you were living in a fantasy world for the past several month and the real world is finally crashing down around you.
It’s hard to accept the fact that you were wrong about your feelings for each other, that you aren’t actually going to end up living happily ever after, that your love story is ending before it officially started.
It’s hard to accept you’re never going to date the person you poured so much of your time and energy into, the person you haven’t stopped thinking about since the first day you met.
When your almost relationship ends, it’s natural to feel sorry for yourself. It’s natural to feel confused and embarrassed and betrayed. And it’s natural to replay old memories to look for clues the other person didn’t feel the same way as you — but you don’t want the fact that you ultimately didn’t end up together to taint your happy memories.
When your almost relationship ends, it’s not going to be easy to cope with your conflicting feelings, but you shouldn’t assume everything that happened between the two of you was a lie. The moments you shared were real. They mattered. Maybe they mattered a little more to you, but that doesn’t mean the other person was completely heartless. It doesn’t mean they were laughing at you behind your back the whole time. It doesn’t mean you meant nothing to them.
You have no idea what was going on in their head. Maybe they were stringing you along because they enjoyed your company but didn’t feel a strong spark. Maybe they thought they were going to date you someday but then someone else came along and distracted them. Maybe they weren’t sure how they felt about you but liked having you around. No matter what the case may be, they must have liked you at least a little if they spent such a long time flirting with you. They must have had some sort of feelings for you, even if they didn’t match your own.
Maybe you didn’t end up in a serious relationship, maybe their feelings for you weren’t as strong as you wish they were, but that doesn’t mean your friendship was a lie. It doesn’t mean the moments that passed between you weren’t special.
You shouldn’t feel stupid for falling for someone you never ended up dating. And you shouldn’t feel stupid for having a hard time getting over someone you never ended up dating. Even if you never kissed, you still got to know each other well. You texted all the time. You grew attached.
You might not have gone on any official dates — but that doesn’t mean your flirting wasn’t real. It doesn’t mean your feelings weren’t real. It doesn’t mean your friendship wasn’t real.
It’s never easy to deal with the end of an almost relationship, but you have to remember that even if there’s no future with this person, it doesn’t mean your past with them was entirely a lie.
