I prayed for the day wherein I will be able to smile.
I prayed for the day where all the pain that resided my heart will go away.
I prayed for the day where I can be as happy as you are. Or even more than that if it’s not too much to ask.
I prayed for the day where I am not affected by your presence and every thing you do.
I prayed for the day where I am healed, restored, and transformed.
I prayed.
I did.
And today, still isn’t the day.
Today is still not the day where I will realize the reason behind every thing that happened.
Today is still not the day where I fully comprehend why things turned up like that.
Today is not the day.
But, I’m getting by.
Every day.
Every day I try to smile.
Every day I tell myself that pain isn’t what I have in my heart.
Every day I laugh as loud as I can.
Every day I watch you from afar, pretending that your presence is okay.
Every day, I still pray for healing, restoration, and transformation.
Faking it, ’til I make it?
No.
I am putting my faith to Him.
As I tell myself every day that things will be alright, I am also laying every thing down in front of my Creator.
As I remind myself that pain isn’t what I have in my heart, I ask God for love and joy.
As I try to laugh out loud, my insides cry as much.
As I pretend you don’t exist, God reminds me that He loves you, too.
And, as I pray for healing, restoration, and transformation, I also pray for yours.
Maybe, today is not the day.
But I know, we are closer to that day.
That day is going to be the someday I have been praying for.
That day will be someday.
love, s.
