the moon watching the midnight ebb

i was contemplating this morning
how my indenial days
turned abruptly into this one

where i get to laugh over my silly self
feeling so entitled
being so demanding

you have no idea how i opened the narrow door
waiting, believing: i deserve more
but i know, i know, grace isn’t forced

so i have decided to keep it lowkey
to stop befriending uncertainty
and allow myself the same old freedom

that i once had
before you

not that it scares me
because it doesn’t anymore
but because no one deserves
to float cluelessly
when there’s not a single island to be seen

and finally,
i hope one day you get it
and i hope we never lose it

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