Wide awake in the small room
When everybody were fall asleep
Here I am thinking of so many things
Questions, regrets and other thoughts keep crossing my mind back and forth.
When the darkness slowly steals the light
When the evening embracess the day
That is also the same moment, where sadness replaces the joy in my heart. The anxiety starts to attack and the past mistakes started to flashback. I’m trying to pull myself together and avoid overthinking, but, the guilt is strong enough to over power me.
Slowly the tears started to flush from my eyes. I cried and screamed silently. I don’t want anybody to know my situation, because I don’t want to be judged, condemed or blamed.
During the day, all they think is that I’m okay, I am happy and I don’t have a problem. All they know is that I’m living a good life with lots of money. But, they don’t know how depressed I am, how many nights I haven’t sleep and how much tears I’ve shed in my pillows.
Yes, I am hurt, I’m in pain, I’m in despair, I’m down. This is the real me when I’m not wearing my mask.