To all single moms

College time medyo pasaway i meet my bf sa clan that tawag namin is “chatter” world of different clans in 1 clan. Nawalan kami ng contact after a month binalikan ako ng ex ko and he was my 1st bf back then. I get pregnant i was 17 yrs old pero sa ex ko. I told him and nothing happens kasi ayaw nya pa ng reponsibilidad. Huminto ako sa pag aaral and after a month my baby girl was born. I started to find a job while waiting the next semester and i work to help my mama at papa sa gastos. I went back to school finish my studies and a bachelor degree. 3 yrs kami that time ng bf ko and i was being thankful kasi tinanggap nya ko pero i was surprise nung tinanong ko sya kung kailan ko makikilala mama nya he said “hindi pa ko handa” time passed by and nothing happens years later i asked him again and answered” Sige pag baba ko ng barko “ soon to be seaman sya and pinanghawakan ko yun. Asked him again “papalayasin ako sa bahay kapag sinabi ko may right time tayo para dyan” were on 5yrs that time and napagod na ko. Close kami ng kapatid nya and yes kilala nila ko mama nya lang hindi. I talk to her “hindi pa pwedeng ipakilala ka ni kuya may pangarap pa sya at unahin muna kami baho sainyo” nasaktan ako.

 

After a month naging cold ako. Unti unti akong nawalan ng gana nagtanong ako sa sarili ko “bakit ? porkit ba single mom ako?” many questions and na stock sa utak ko and for me to be calm i get back to be an online gamer with my brother. Tumagal nawawala na lahat at medyo kalmado na ko. Scrolling on my fb account a request was sent to me from one of the best player and i ask my self “bakit ?” and i accepted. He sent me message inviting me to another server on that game i have no choice kasi dito ako masaya i accepted. Naging close kami and i started to keep the convo deeper and i confess about the situation and i ask him randomly questions. After a month mas naging close kami and im happy with him. I realize everything but i keep on asking myself “masaya ba ko “ so i decided to broke up with my bf. I was being tired hoping that he will fight for me but 6 years is enough to be martyr. Naisip ko sasabihin ng ibang tao at di ako nagkamali “Malandi” “Hindi nya naman anak yan ee kung ayaw nya maghintay edi wag” “Pinagpalit mo ko agad” “tanga mo ilang buwan lang buntis ka ulit” it hurts me so much. Nagkamali ako kasi nabuntis ako in the very young age pero i came to the decent family and i never regret having my daughter.

My friend that i was met and i decided to be together as couples. He promise a lot and yes he do what he promise. Pinakilala nya ko sa family nya and alam na rin nila na single mom ako. They accept me with warmly welcome to their home. I always thanking him for what he have done. Sobrang saya ko kasi ngayon ko lang naramdaman yung matagal ko ng gustong maramdaman. We enjoyed a lot being together pakiramdam ko sobrang bless ko after a long sacrifices long journey and ilang tangke ng luha finally i met someone who is willing to do anything to make me happy someone who is proud and fight for me. Its been 7months and yes were still together im working as a barista and he was waiting for a visa to australia. I missed my period for 1 month i feel the same when i get pregnant to my daughter i thought it was normal from being tired after work, travelling so far to get home and stress. I was able to feel not normal i was surprise and i was pregnant 2 weeks that time but i cried our baby didnt make it. The doctor said because of the fatigue and far of travelling everyday the baby didnt make it.

I cried so hard and i need to tell him what happen. He felt sadness and sobrang hinayang sa blessing . We need to move on and time passed his visa released. At this moment we need to keep on fighting and needs to be more strong for LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP its hard to get visa going there and we have no choice but to keep on waiting and be strong. We know that we can handle this. Im so blessed that his family supported us and they are happy with us. As of now his on Australia and im here in the Philippines. Its been 4months na magkalayo kami and still were here. Keep holding to our promises and goals that we need to achieve for us. Lagi namin binabalikan yung araw na nakilala namin isat isa and were so glad that God given us this beautiful gift to be as one fighting to what we want. I never regret on what ive done before and i know that this is the true happiness and contentment. They accept me as part of their family and iam being thankful to God that iam so blessed for having this man in my life. God given me hope that there is someone who will love me and my child as his own who will fight for me against to other and proud for being with me.

 

To all the single mom

There is no way para mawalan ka ng pag asa na may isang taong tatanggap syo at magiging proud sayo. Minsan kailangan lang natin mag antay at patuloy na ibigay ang paniniwala natin sa Diyos na hindi nya tayo pababayaan. Yes oo nagkamali tayo ng una pero hindi hadlang yun para panghinaan ka. May mga tao na itake advantage ka kasi alam nila na marupok tayo pero kailangan nating tatagan at maging sigurado sa mga desisyon natin. Never let someone na paaasahin ka sa mga bagay na malabong mangyari. Kung hindi sya proud sayo at hindi ka nya tanggap bilang single mom let him go. Hindi natin kailangan maghanap kusa siyang dadating at lagi tayo magpasalamat sa Diyos kasi blessing na agad yung Anghel na meron tayo. Wag ka magpapadala sa sinasabi ng iba gawin mong inspiration yun para magpatuloy at ipakita mo na kaya natin. Never beg someone to stay and to change kasi kung mahal ka nya talaga gagawa sya ng paraan at gagawin nya yun mag isa kahit hindi mo sabihin. Hindi yung mag stay sya sayo for sex, advantages at display para masabi na lalaki sya. Ang tunay na lalaki tumutupad sa pangako at hinding hindi bibiguin ang babaeng mahal nya.

 

-Jaja Malabon

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