The day or the way we met was uneventful. We didn’t even become friends at first. Yet, never did I expect that you will be someone important to me as time went by. Through a series of circumstances, we started talking & as I slowly got to know you, I discovered that you were a person on the same wavelength as mine – which is rare for me. So I was really delighted to have met someone like you.
The first time we went out, I was so embarrassed yet kind of relieved that you didn’t get mad when I spilled juice all over your pants. I lost my dignity, but I was glad to earn a friend who accepts me no matter how clumsy I get.
Remember the time when I was drinking water, then you did something funny and I spat all over your new phone and all over your face & shirt? Goodbye dignity #2! Yet you were cool about it. Thank God your phone was waterproof! Otherwise, I wouldn’t know how to face you again.
I have lots and lots to be thankful for, but here are the ones I’m most grateful for.
For understanding my weirdness. Cause you’re kinda weird too. Remember those words we coined?
For allowing me to correct you, though sometimes it gets annoying na.
For allowing me to be myself.
For always, always listening and offering sound advice. Ikaw na talaga.
Thank you for always asking how my day went, even though it was a tiring day at work for you. Thank you for understanding my darkest nights and just allowing me to rant about anything and everything whenever I had to. You also had your rants, but mostly you listened to mine. Thank you as well for trusting me with your secrets. I didn’t understand then how meaningful it was to you, but now I realize you must have really saw something good in me to share those things. I am grateful. Truly.
Because of those things, and a lot more, I found myself starting to like you… more than I should. However, I know it isn’t the time yet, and I know I shouldn’t be the first one to express what I feel. Not because I’m afraid. I believe it isn’t my role to initiate things between us, if there ever is a possibility. But, most importantly – it’s because you’re still in the process.
Of healing.
Of learning to love yourself again.
Of finding your purpose and pursuing that.
Of being the best version of yourself.
I don’t want to pre-empt what God is doing in your life.
Pre-empt your healing, pre-empt the process you have & need to go through at this moment of your life –when your heart was broken by someone you loved and deeply cherished.
Sabi mo nga, “I haven’t moved on. And it would take years.”
But it’s not like… No. You weren’t paasa. Don’t worry about it.
It’s just that, you became a really good friend, I saw you for who you are, I saw your heart. You were someone who didn’t deserve to be treated that way. You were genuine with me, that’s why I suddenly saw myself beginning to like you a lot. I am afraid that I may not be able to detach myself later on, when, as time passes, I get to know you more & maybe, fall for you completely.
So while I am still sane, while I can, I’ll lead my heart away for now. Until God heals you completely, and then maybe, if it’s His will, time will eventually bring your heart to me. But until then, I pray for your healing, your growth, and that you may relentlessly and unreservedly pursue the purpose God has for you. I only pray for the best for you and your future, whether I’ll be part of it or not. But don’t worry, I’m still your good friend, albeit at a safe distance.
One of my favorite moments with you is when at the end of the day, as we bid our usual good nights, you always say, “Thanks for the time.” You know what, deep inside it was also a joy and privilege of mine to be sharing a part of my life and time with you. I may not say it as often as you do but now, at this moment, allow me.
To the Man of God, my friend, who I’m beginning to like,
thank you for your time.