Unspoken Words To The Man Who Never Knew How He Hurt Me

Every single detail of you make me smile

 

I don’t know if I’m in love or I’m just infatuated

all I know is I’m happy because you exist

I’m blessed because we met

 

It’s funny how I support you joke even if it is corny

It’s funny when I react every post in your social media even if it’s not for me

It’s funny that I did everything just to make you happy

and this is the funniest of all

that I asked you to God even if I’m not sure that we’re mean to be

 

Maybe right now, you have someone that you admired

and I hate the fact that

I envy the girl who captured your attention

I envy the girl that can make you happy without an effort

I envy the girl you told to your friends

I envy the girl for saving her photo in your gallery

I envy the girl you’re always supporting everything she do

and I envy the girl whom your heart prays for

 

You never knew how it hurts me

but I can’t blame you

coz it’s your life

It’s your decision

It’s your feelings

I can’t dictate you, and who am I to do that?

I’m just your sister in Christ, a friend, and an admirer

 

I can’t blame you for the times I cried

I can’t blame you that I overthink

I can’t blame that I feel confused

I can’t blame you that my heart is in pain

I can’t blame you that I treat  you as my everything

 

It will never be your fault

It was all mine

 

My fault for allowing myself fall for you even more

My fault for allowing myself to get hurt

My fault  for expecting that one day, you and I will be together

My fault for putting a meaning to something that really means nothing

 

Maybe one day I’ll stop supporting you

Maybe one day I’ll stop pushing you to do this and that

Maybe one day I’ll stop caring for you

Maybe one day I’ll stop loving you

Maybe one day I’ll stop praying for you

because one day, someone out there will do everything I did, for you

Yes it will hurt me, but I need to accept not just the reality but my destiny

 

I jus want to thank you for every moment that we shared

and for everything you did for me

because of that, it is very clear

that you act not as man who love me

but a brother that has a concern to his sister

 

One day I’ll accept the fact

that we’re really meant to know each other

but not meant to be together

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