Dear Ex,
It’s been days that I’ve been trying to avoid watching your SDE wedding video. But this morning, I did watch it for it’s constantly popping out of my newsfeed (we do have so many mutual friends who kept on reacting to the video).
I watched how lovingly your friends and relatives shared your love story. She was your 1st love, the girl of your dream, love at 1st sight, so they say. Looking back, they were thrilled upon knowing that you had mustered the courage to go to Manila to pursue her. What they didn’t know is the story in between, her being your 1st love and you pursuing her. I was there in the middle of that beautiful love story.
I was the one you left behind to pursue her. I was the one with you the night of your despedida almost begging you not to go while you’re kissing those tears streaming down my eyes telling me I’ll moved on.
I wouldn’t know what would become of us if I had begged more, if I had cried more that night, if I hadn’t left your side the morning of your flight, if I turned around… if I hadn’t let go.
———————-
I wouldn’t know what would become of us if I hadn’t let you go home that night when you’re trying to win me back again, when you begged me you’ll stay until you hear my yes again. If I had not insisted that you attend your highschool reunion the next day, you two won’t have the chance to meet again there. You called me a week after that reunion and you told me you have something important to tell me and I too have something important to tell you. You came to visit me that night and I insisted that you spill first. You told me you still love her and that you’ll go to Manila to pursue her. I was devastated, that when you asked me what is it that I’m planning to tell you, instead of saying “I’m giving you again my yes because I still love you”, I told you “I’m happy for you, and I wish you luck”.
That was my greatest heartache, you were my greatest heartache.
But now, seeing how happy you are with her, how your eyes light up while waiting at the altar for her, how people ugly-cry at the sides witnessing a love story unfold before their very eyes, I’m happy not to know the answers to those WHAT IFs and MAYBE. I’m genuinely happy for both of you that I too ugly-cried while watching your SDE because I know you’re very happy that you’re marrying the girl of your dream, the girl that you love the most, the one God has prepared for you.
God prepared you to be my EX, and I’m thankful he had let me EXperienced the love that you could offer. God also prepared someone for me, and I know someone is out there whom I’ll walk down the aisle to while seeing his face light up while he waits at the altar for me.
May your matrimony be blessed and that you both stay true to the promises you left at the altar.
-Your Ex,
M. 🙂