This is my first time writing here so there it goes. I met this guy at work, at first I’m not actually attracted to him because he’s kinda old, not too old but he’s actually out of age range of guys I’m usually attracted to. But, he’s actually attractive, smart, witty, funny and all. He makes us laugh all the time.
That time I am in a long term relationship, as in long term. We met when we we’re very young, so I can say that I thought he’ll be the one. I mean because I love him and he does too, actually he love me more than I love him. He’s not perfect but he’s one of a kind, he can literally sacrifice everything for me and our son. Yes we have a son. Like I said we were in a fcking long term.
I’m not gonna lie, the first guy I’m talking earlier he’s the reason why I left my long term relationship ex. Not the real reason because I’m kinda doubting my ex 2 years earlier before we broke up but he’s the reason why I have a guts to left my ex. By the way, my ex he did not cheated. The last thing he’ll do is to cheat, he’s very very very loyal and faithful. So I guess it’s totally my fault. I did kinda cheat but I did not have sex, I just let myself feel something to that person. So I broke up with my ex and I went to Him. Considered as cheating right?
Okay, then here’s what happened to me and Him. At first we were so okay. I knew that the very first time that he’s “babaero” like really babaero talaga. But I took a risk because I said to myself, maybe it’s worth it or he can change? We have this intense feeling with each other, I really fcking did, and I knew he does too I can feel it. We’re happy, really happy. I think we’re perfect together.
We we’re in a committed relationship for one month until I discovered something, something that made me realize that he’s never gonna change. We’ll cheaters we always be cheater. Like wtf? Charot. Hahaha! So I left him, I left someone again. Kinda my thing. Kesa iwan ako, unahan ko na. Diba?
So when we broke up, lumalandi na ko sa iba. As in, I’m talking to like 3 guys at the same time. But we’re still talking. He said sorry and accepted it, but the thing is I did not made myself exclusive to him. I knew that he’s still talking to his ex’s and the other person he cheated to me with, and to some other girls pa. So I did it to, we’re not in a relationship na but we’re still together. I can feel that we love me, I do too. I love him but I’m aware of what he’s doing so gumaganti ako. Like literal na ganti.
Actually ilan beses ko na syang iniwan, I said to him so many times na ayoko na sa relationship namin. Kasi nga, hindi naman na kami actually because we broke up and we did not get back together. In short wala kaming commitment. I left him like 5x na, but everytime I’m ignoring him, magmemessage sya or something and then we’ll go back to normal. Maayos na kami tapos ganun na naman, mag aatittude ako, iiwan ko sya then magiging maayos kami. Like cycle.
Ngayon, nakita ko na naman na minemessage sya nung ex nya at nung isang kausap nya when we’re together. Sabi nya sila lang naman daw ung nagmemessage but I know pag wala ako kinakausap nya padin yung mga yun. So iniwan ko na naman sya at sinabi kong wag na nya kong imemessage ulit.
Sobrang dami kong gustong sabihin sakaniya, like baka kaya nya ginagawa sakin yun kasi sobrang dali nya kong nakuha? And kaya nya din ginagawa yun kasi ginagawa ko din? Or kaya nya ginagawa sakin yun kasi pinapayagan ko syang gawin nya sakin yun? Actually I don’t know kung hanggang saan na ba yung ginagawa nya or ginagawa nya. I just know that he’s lying to me. So tell me mali ba ko? And if he texted or approached me again should I go back to him?
Thank you. Please help. 😊