I remember the time during my last year in college when I had a conversation with my friends about single men in our church. That night, the women asked us why there was no single man who has the guts to pursue the single women (that time). Honestly, I had no idea and I was clueless about the reasons why. There were no courtship that I heard that time; if there was, it was hidden and not celebrated. Even my leader and his group of men were not taking any step in pursuing anyone.
We have a lot of single men who I believe, are capable for that season of courtship and pursue romantic relationships, because they already have work, garnered some savings, and somehow molded a great character. But sad to say, I saw none who’s engaging with women. Perhaps that is the root of all the women’s questioning that night.
Where Are the Men?
“What are they waiting for?” “Are they afraid if women will reject them?” They inquired. The only answer I remember I said was, “I don’t know!”
But wait…
Now that I am a certified single, a young professional, I am asking that same question to myself: “Why am I not courting someone even though I am working hard as much as I am training myself to become a good partner in the future?”
Here are some answers that I’ve learned from my leader (who is now already engaged by the way), from Scriptures and other single men:
1. Definitely we pursue not out of pressure.
Exactly! Pressure should not be our (men) boost to pursue women because if that is so, courtship will be nonsense. Pressure is always there, but don’t let this thing become an encouragement to pursue someone. Rather, let pressure be our trigger to depend more on God and wait patiently in knowing the desires of His heart—including THE person whom we are going to pursue.
2. Pursue only when God has already shown you the green light.
How many relationships ended in separation? How many men and women are now heartbroken? How many friendships have been destroyed and ruined? Many men and women of today are entering relationships even though God has not yet shown His green light, or the “go” signal. Men keep on pursuing other roads and detours even when God has already showed His red light. God has perfect timing. Don’t devastate the way He made perfect. Stay calm. There will be a green light soon enough, so stop when the red light is on display.
God is pruning and cutting some branches of character in us that do not bear fruits. Preparation is not easy and it does take time. But one thing is for sure preparation is for our good– for the time that we are already married.
Women, please wait. We will pursue you when God tells us to do so. As much as we are being molded, so are you. No man wants to grow old being single (I hope) and enjoy his life alone, so please be patient. Not because we aren’t pursuing anyone it means you are not beautiful or interesting. No. You are like a gem underneath the cave so let us dig deep and dig and dig to find you. Until God awakens our love for you, we will pursue you. We are just waiting for that perfect time for God to display the green light, so we can drive without hesitating and pursue you as soon as possible. We love you!
