A letter for you that I will never tell

At the first month we’ve not been together was the hardest part of my being. I asked myself everyday where did I go wrong. Is my love for you too much or it wasn’t enough to fill that emptiness in your heart.

I can’t ever tell you these things and I will never tell. I can’t tell you how much I miss you, how I wish I was the girl you’re looking at right now. How I hope that I was the one holding you and making you happy as how I make you laugh when we were still together. I will never tell how much I try to forget all my heartbreak just for me to accept and forgive you.

There are times that I whisper to myself “I want him to be happy so let him be with someone new. You can’t force somebody to love you back and be happy with you. Let it go. Let him go. Let your feelings fade.” I will never tell you how many times I cry for you, how heavy my heart is every time I woke up and before I go to bed. I will never tell you how my heart hurts every time I see her, every time I see you talking with her on your phone. It still hurt to see that you asked me to leave for you to love yourself but you end up moving on with someone new. I wish I was her or wish I’d be numb to make it stop.

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