I was left with nothing but countless fears,
A thousand scars and million tears
All lurking and falling for the same name-
The name that both built me and played me like a game.
I came championing my resilience
Now I am tucked in, breaking in silence.
It is quite a height from where I fell
I had fury and melancholy that are so hard to tell.
I was left with questions, with no answers to grasp
I was wounded and burdened as your hand I clasp.
Years and years we shared, both in breaking and mending
Not settling down to a grotesque ending
But you choose to go, and choose her too
Which made me wonder where in those years did I mattered too.
I was there with you, all the longest
But to you my significance is the smallest
My confidence bent and broken in every side
Powdered courage, dreams did collide
All the while I still wonder if forgiveness I could still offer
To an almost, my almost lover.
In between running and waiting for you
I whispered under exhausted breath, a prayer for us two.
That someday we’ll meet our gazes again
And no longer remember our summers flooded with unwanted rain.
But I’ll ran somewhere else now
Or maybe stop, breaking cupid’s arrow and bow
Maybe we’re never meant to be
Somewhere between the lane of loving free.
Though I was left with nothing but countless fears
A thousand scars and million tears
All lurking and falling for the same name-
The name that both built me and played me like a game.
I am coming championing my resilience
No longer will I be tucked in, breaking in silence.
This time I am choosing my name-
And gather all the strength I still have left
To tend my every doubt and shame.
I am coming,
Anew.
