Walking along a somewhat familiar road, it’s cold but the wind’s embrace felt like home, I didn’t know exactly where to go but the road I was taking seemed a road I countlessly encountered, it was gloomy but the further I walk the more I hear voices and familiar noises.
With a heavy feeling, trying to grasp where could I be, I turned and saw a stranger but just like everything else at that moment, his presence was something I thought I knew.
We were walking in the same direction, heading wherever our feet take us. It seemed he was looking at me as if he’s trying to approach me. Suddenly, our eyes met. He was talking.
His face, his glares, his posture, his actions, and how the wind felt awkward. I knew him. It felt like I was longing for this conversation, for this moment to come. Or as if this already happened and I’m missing it badly. Unsure of everything was.
“Hi” it’s obviously an awkward hi like he badly wanted to say more but it’s all there was. I smiled and asked how’s everything. I saw in his eyes the excitement and joy as he speaks.
Along the way, we even met the people we knew, had a small talk, left on their way to their different ways. The further we go, the better I was feeling. It’s like the heavy baggage in my heart was slowly fading.
Now the noises become clearer like we’re almost there. I knew I was going home, but the problem was, I didn’t know where exactly was home.
One of our mutuals was there too, out of a sudden. She asked where I was going.
“Home” was the only word I uttered.
She said “oh, we’re almost heading to the same direction, why not come with me? “
“But where?” I asked.
He looked at me, and said, “It was the place where we last met. Where we said our goodbyes”
Noises disappeared. Wind stopped. I remembered everything. Every little thing. I smiled.
Finally.
He was…I’d like to say a “friend” but he was more than that. What we had was more than that. In him, I gave everything, that none was left for me and for everybody else. It was years ago, we started as young sweethearts but grew apart.
Because…
Love wasn’t meant to give your all. When there’s something missing in you, you don’t need somebody to fill it up. You don’t enter into a relationship because you want to get that “love”, you are there because you want to share the love. You don’t need a relationship to feel happy and worthy. Love wasn’t meant to fill each other’s emptiness. You, yourself must work on it. And when God finally completes you, go out and share the love with the person you’ll grow with.
Now I know what’s the heavy feeling all about, I knew I was carrying baggage since the last time we talked, years ago. We parted ways, but there were bitterness and hatred that stayed with me through the years.
We again parted ways. Now heading to our separate directions. Thankful because he accompanied me on the road where I’m meant to leave behind all those feelings. I’m now facing tomorrow with no baggage left in my heart.
Still unsure, but I’m heading now to what I call my “home”
Everything’s but a blur, I woke up.
As I open my eyes I saw a beautiful soul, smiling eyes, and a sweet smile. My now and my future. He saw me in tears, but all I can do is shed more tears and hug him tight.
I found my home.