Note To Self
By Alex Codog
Did I wrote this prose out of love? Hahaha. Nope! Well, before she came I took a pause at writing proses and poems for about half a year; but yeah! she came right on time and I never expected that I’ll get easily attached to her. Because who wouldn’t get attached to someone like her? Normally, the response I get by saying this, is her uttering the word “mambobola” everytime I compliment her. Mainly, she knows how to differentiate flirty words from sincere ones. Call me a liar, call me flirty or call me mambobola but I know my heart speaks the truth. Anyways I’m getting off topic. This so called prose is about the traits I noticed in her that got me attached, also to suffice the evidence that she really is a beautiful person both inside and outside, as an observant guy, I take notes.
Note to Self: She has this super scary type of intelligence. She remembers events and details like an expensive memory card that a normal person wouldn’t just forget. So that makes me wonder, “Is lying to her without her knowing possible”?
Note to Self: She proclaimed herself as a narcissist, but the way she describes herself is very contradicting to her statements. She usually says that she just looks good in a picture but a lot different in person. But I say “Nah”, she just needs to believe in herself more and if she knows just how much I care about her self-esteem, I would remind her every day that she is very beautiful.
Note to Self: She gives the most uplifting advice to others, even to me. I remember that one time I was having problems about unemployment, she was there to talk to me, even call me and that’s all I need when I have problems- a little talk. As an observant guy, I easily noticed that she has problems herself that’s why after our call, I swore to myself that I’ll also be there for her when she needs me- when she needs a little talk.
Note to Self: She might not be the clingiest type of a woman that I ever met, but at least she still gives me her time and for me, that’s the most important trait anybody could have. I don’t know why, but it just gets me when she texts me during the day; and I guess, that’s all I need. Just one random message from her changes my mood every time.
Note to Self: She surprised me, because at our first two days of chat she was playing the serious type, but I never thought she can be someone I can tell jokes to and just want to say she has an amazing laugh even though she tries to hold back her laughter, it still amazes me.
Note to Self: She has been one of the most patient women I met so far. Because she didn’t leave me even though I barely have time to be online and chat- her messages are still there whenever I open my account and sometimes if I’m lucky, I get a flood of messages from her. Reading those messages alone is enough to get my lazy bones moving.
Note to Self: She has a superb English skill and to top that, she also can match me in debates- well, that’s what you expect from a teacher, right? But not so much because she doesn’t want me to have high expectations on her although it makes me want to go back to high school and be one of her students.
Note to Self: She’s a very challenging person to court (I don’t know if “court” was the word for it because I’m not yet courting you) doesn’t easily get the vibe or the feeling of “kilig” whenever I use my abilities on her. But even so, I still get her sometimes-but that sometimes is mere one time in three daily chats; although that’s what makes her who she is, because she wants her third love to be the last.
Note to Self: She is BJLM, a person I just met in a dating app; now one of those important people in my life I guess, I admit it, she’s hard and also has a hard skin but that just makes me want to prove myself to her more. “a person like her doesn’t just grow on trees”. She has these traits that made me attached to her and kinda dragged me to the right side. I’m nowhere close to her Mr. Right, but I’m getting there. These are only a few examples because they are just the personalities I noticed in chat, wait ‘til I get to know more of her in person and maybe I can write an entire thesis of her. Hahaha.
Lastly, I wanna speak to her in second person now. Ma’am, I know I didn’t meet your expectations in this so called prose because most of these traits are already open to you. But I tried to pour my heart out to every word I write here so maybe you can give me a little credit? Hahaha. Just kidding, but anyway, here comes the serious part. I know myself and you remind me most of the time that you’re a hard person to deal with and that I should give up. But the one thing that keeps me going is the fact that you’re a person who’s worth the challenge; by that alone makes me want to court you (if you let me) until you utter your life changing “yes”. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet you in person and I hope this wouldn’t be the last because we are still in that
“getting to know” process. ‘Til next time and I promise the next letter/ prose/poem will be a lot better.
Out of everything, maybe, I did wrote out of love.
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…and out of all those “Note to Self” he forgot to take note of not hurting me, and not replacing me while he’s still mine.
