It’s almost a year since we broke up. 4 years na sana tayo.
We started as classmates then lovers and we were in an on-off relationship.
Dahil sa situation natin, nagkaroon ng 8 months na break up and I tried loving others pero hindi ko kaya because you gave me so much to hold on. We got back together nang 2018 and that was the peak of our relationship. I loved you and gave you everything and trusted you with myself. But 2019, we broke up again because of some situations sa paligid natin since involved ang family.
Almost a year na rin na nag-sstruggle pa ako sa denial na mahal pa kita but iniistalk kita kasi I still miss you.
We promised each other. Maghihintayan tayo diba?
I made a covenant with God na I’m not gonna love or even entertain someone for 2 years until my graduation. I made that promise kay God because I want to preserve my feelings for you dahil you gave me a reason to trust you na you’ll wait for me.
There were temptations but I was able to overcome them.
You asked me if I still love you nang January ngayong year. I saw the message pero nang inopen ko binura mo na. Gusto kong sabihin na mahal na mahal pa rin kita pero I can’t muna dahil serious yung reason natin. Later in January, binalik mo yung gifts mo sakin and it was painful and gumuho sarili ko nang naalala ko yung memories. Holidays, birthdays, valentines, casual dates, etc., You were my partner in everything. The best person I’ve met and alam mo yun pero lagi mo dinadown sarili mo.
You even doubted me na proud ako sayo. Self-pity is your favorite reason pero mali ka. You are the best and sobrang proud ako sayo. Never ko inunderestimate yung strenght mo or yung background mo. Lagi mo pinapamukha na intimidated ka sakin but no, ako yung naiintimidate dahil ikaw yung may mabuting judgment sa lahat ng bagay.
Last 3 weeks ago, nagchat ako na pinatatawad na kita. Ang sagot mo sakin “Kaya siguro di ko magawang sumaya nang totoo dahil hindi pa kita napapatawad” but you know what, kahit na nagkasakitan tayo, love parin nanaig sakin kasi I don’t want to lose you and I’m still waiting for you. Mahal na mahal parin kita.
I decided to write this letter anonymously dahil ayoko maging annoying ex na chinachat ka dahil I respect your gf.
Mabilis man ikaw nagkaroon ng bago, but I still pray na happy kang genuinely sa naachieve mo ngayon.
The moments I’ve spent with you are all in my heart and though masakit sa akin na may iba na nagpapasaya sayo, kelangan kita i-let go completely and wish you nothing but the best.
When I found out na may bago ka na at sayo mismo nanggaling yun, durog na durog ako pero what can I do, kung hindi ka nag grow with me, baka sa gf mo ngayon ikaw lalago.
I still love you, my greatest love. I don’t know when or how, pero I’m definitely gonna get pass through this challenge. Thank you for believing in me. For always guiding me sa decisions ko sa life. Thank you sa pagiging proud sakin. Lagi mo sinasabi “Ang ganda ng mga plates mo, mahal” pero di mo alam na ikaw yung inspirasyon ko behind my achievements.
I’m sorry for everything. Sa mga times na kinwestiyon kita sa mga ginagawa mo para sa relasyon natin. I’m sorry if ever na sinira ko self-esteem mo or kung ano pa man nagawa ko na unaware ako pero nahurt ka.
Now, I’m setting you free and I have to accept na you are not mine in the first place so I have to let you discover the world with someone who can help you. I’m happy na masaya ka ngayon kahit hindi na ako dahilan ng tawa at ngiti mo.
Nakikiusap din ako na love your gf genuinely. Treat her with respect. She will help you with the new chapter sa buhay mo. I don’t want to ruin your story kaya nandito ko sa backstage and though it pains me deeply to see you with her, I have to be strong para sa sarili ko.
Continue dreaming with a smile and you deserve so much in the world.
I will always pray for you and your goals.
Goodbye, my beloved engineer.
Malaya ka na.