The heaviness of 2020 is something to look back to. After months of being locked up at home, it seems my life is not the same anymore. I always caught myself feeling blue and my eyes seem in great distress.
The things that I put are things that I always wanna do during the quarantine. I want to go out, to explore, to feel lost, to have a deeper understanding of myself. Quarantine made me reflect on my own experiences without the influence of other people. That’s why I really want to wander around, to go to places where it can ignite my soul and lit up my eyes again. I want to go to the beach and watch the sunset, to hear the sound of the waves as if it caressing your soul. I want to reach the summit, the highest peak as possible. Where you can hear the heaviness of your breathe. I want to enjoy the sea of clouds, the silence, the ethereal beauty of the sunrise. That even the bittersweet taste of my coffee hits different.
I am alive outside but I know within myself I am slowly rotting. I want to take some time to ponder my past actions and decisions. What could I’ve done? Who I’ve become. After all, this is all just continuity of my curiosity. To learn from the ups and downs of life and to know how life truly unfolds.
This is me, hitting the hay and wanting to have a meaningful existence.