I used to smile
At everyone
Even when I am by myself
I used to laugh
Quite loudly
Even at the cheesiest joke
I turned thirty
Then I learned
A smile is an invitation
It is a way
To welcome
Someone’s unwanted attention
And that laughter
When it’s loud
Does not suit a single woman
It can appear
Disgusting
Vulgar, rude and rather childish
And so my smiles
Gradually
Receded from my aging face
My laughter too
Has started
To sound with what they call is grace
Married women
With children
They may smile as much as they want
Younger women
Oblivious
May laugh as wildly as they can
I’m neither one
So it feels
Like I have lost a membership
To a fun club
Exclusive
Care-free, bright and fascinating
I used to wonder
Why spinsters look grim
And sound so lifeless
I now think
That I am
Beginning to know why
