About two years ago, I made a conscious decision to close my heart to romance. The countless rejections and heartbreaks I had experienced in the past had turned my once soft and marupok heart into something akin to a block of ice. I became numb and incapable of feeling love or attraction towards anyone. Although… Continue reading Hoping But Not Expecting
Tag: Confession
I Like You, Maybe?
Thinking about yesterday how you were with me I was wondering if that was how you really treat everybody Or is there something special on how you were with me I don’t really know what to feel Should I be happy, excited or scared I was so certain bout how I feel for you before… Continue reading I Like You, Maybe?
Can Strangers Turn To Be Lovers?
There was a woman that I always see lately on our church services. We have seen each other as co-workers in Christ but our paths never crossed before. We were in the church for almost a decade, and it was just this year that we bumped on each other. We are like strangers having the… Continue reading Can Strangers Turn To Be Lovers?
Unsent Letter to the Guy who Never Looked at Me
N, I have been admiring you quietly for two years now, and I am still here. I have vivid memories of our first meeting, which was your first one, but it was the third time for me. You have no idea I was admiring you, even in those times when I didn’t even know your… Continue reading Unsent Letter to the Guy who Never Looked at Me
Keeping Me At Arm’s Length
You don’t want me. You don’t want me gone either. You’re sending off mixed signals. You’re more confused than I am. I don’t understand. I wonder what changed. We used to build dreams and a life together. You said you saw your future with me. I do, too. I can see myself taking care of… Continue reading Keeping Me At Arm’s Length
Kelan ba?
Kelan kaya darating yung ako naman yung pipiliin? Yung hindi ako hahayaan na laging magquestion about sa worth ko. Yung tipong masisingit ako sa oras kahit pa gaano kabusy yung schedule niya. Yung hindi ko na kailangan maghintay ng matagal kung kelan ako muling maaalala. Kelan kaya darating yung para sakin? Kasi ang hirap ilaban… Continue reading Kelan ba?
A poem about Growing Apart
We laughed without reasons, And pat each others back. Sang a tune or two, ’til our voices cracked. I thought it was only yesterday. But a decade already lapsed. You took a step forward, I chose to hold back. I want to stay where I am. You left to seek your path. I thought it… Continue reading A poem about Growing Apart
Baka ngayon, pwede na ang “tayo”
—to someone I met in 2019 Puno ako ng panghihinayang ngayon. Hindi ko lubos maisip na mararanasan ko iyong ganito—magmahal sa tamang tao ngunit maling panahon. Apat na taon na makalipas nung una tayong pinagtagpo ng tadhana. Labing anim na taon ako noon at ikaw ay dalawang pu’t isa. Bago palang ako noon sa church,… Continue reading Baka ngayon, pwede na ang “tayo”
Sana
Alam ko namang walang chance na mabasa mo ‘to lahat pero magsusulat parin ako. Akala ko okay na ako after the 3mos rule pero kapag may mga kasama akong kaclose, maya’t maya ako nagrerelapse. Like halimbawa may bumili ng matcha yogurt bigla kong sasabihin, ” Favorite din niya yan eh.” Or sasabihan nila akong ang… Continue reading Sana
The toxicity of cancel culture
I show care genuinely to model you how to value me because I feel hardly unnoticed. Moment by moment I provide you assurance since I know the feeling of insignificance. Yet, you see it on the other way. You thought I am playing around and you’re one of it. If you only knew I seek… Continue reading The toxicity of cancel culture
To my next one
Please know that I am tired of writing poetry for people who are just passing by. I spent enough nights drowning myself from the heartbreaks I always romanticize with my words. I broke my heart enough to learn that there will be wrong ones I can never let go of because they felt too right.… Continue reading To my next one
BW App : Group Dating
Preview In-Depth : Day 7
Same as… “It Was Over Before It Even Started”
In pursuit of a woman, my heart took flight, As she embodied my interest, shining bright. Thinking it was a yes from God’s divine sight, I admired her acceptance, her care, day and night. To know her better, her loved ones I’d explore, Excitement filled me as I opened each door. But after a while,… Continue reading Same as… “It Was Over Before It Even Started”
7 years
Di ko akalaing ganito ako ka-Tanga,
Nag-tanim ako ng di kaylanman magbubunga.
Goodbyes Without Saying Goodbye
” I left because I got tired out of your inconsistency and your mixed signals. ”
To someone I once never had and never will be
We got lost from the moment I realized the feeling was true You left unaware, how I wish I could tell you Took us a decade to have the courage Revealing unspoken thoughts that made our hearts and souls ravaged Both minds fed up with these sh*tty “what if’s” What if I told you I’m… Continue reading To someone I once never had and never will be
Unsent message for you, Mark
It’s me, hi. I know. I’m the problem it’s me. I want you to know that this takes a lot of encouragement from my inner self. To write this down. Write down what I’m feeling. What are my true feelings. And to send this to you. Read this. I’m only gonna say this once. For… Continue reading Unsent message for you, Mark
Talo na talaga ako.
Minsan iniisip ko kung nagkaron ka ba talaga ng feelings para sakin? Anong ibig sabihin ng “good morning” at “good night” mo?Ano nga ba ang ibig sabihin ng pag uupdate mo sa akin?Naging comfortable ka lang ba talaga ikwento sa akin yung buong araw mo? Ano nga ba ang ibig sabihin ng pag dedemand mo… Continue reading Talo na talaga ako.
Enough
And so I said it is enough… It is enough that I made my feelings known to you…That I have opened my heart once again…That I have shown what I can offer even after my heart has been powdered to pieces. It is enough that I stretched my arms to hold your falling pieces…. that… Continue reading Enough
Sometimes I wonder why I ended up not being chosen by someone I love.
Sometimes I wonder why I ended up not being chosen by someone I love. Yung tipong hindi naman ikaw yung unang nagka-gusto, siya naman nagparamdam sa’yo pero bakit ako yung na-fall ng todo at iniwan? I always try my best to protect my heart pero siya naman yung nagpupumilit na hulihin yung mga ngiti ko,… Continue reading Sometimes I wonder why I ended up not being chosen by someone I love.
Maroon
Have you ever meet someone and the two of you just instantly click? And then you talk for a few months but now they’re gone… I have one. He’s just the best.. he’s so sweet and nice. He loves his family so much and spends time with them as much as he can during his… Continue reading Maroon
I apologize as you matter to me a lot.
I wish the pain had also ended as I closed my chapter 2022. Every step I take as Chapter 2023 begins appears to be difficult. I can say that I am no longer feeling the same pain as I did on the day you decided to leave. I don’t know where this journey is taking… Continue reading I apologize as you matter to me a lot.
to you who feel inferior.
Look at yourself. You doubt your ability. Your capabilities Just because they say that you’re unadmirable? You will never know who is looking at you. There is someone out there who admires you from afar. Inspired by your courage Because of your sincerity You are not weird. Society is. Look around; notice how people are… Continue reading to you who feel inferior.
Allow me to miss you until I no longer do.
How are you? I’ve been wanting to ask you this, but since we’ve parted ways, I no longer have the guts to. I’ve missed you ever since. There are days when I miss you less and days when I miss you a lot more. Sometimes, I want to see you just as you would react.… Continue reading Allow me to miss you until I no longer do.
My Sin
It feels like a sin. To look into those round eyes that I have a hard time resisting. To go stiff whenever we have no other choice but to be near each other. To secretly enjoy the distant silence between us. To wish that I had more time for you to tell me about your… Continue reading My Sin
I am tired of this “okay-then-not-okay” cycle as part of the healing process.
Emotional pain affects every aspect of your life. When you are heart-broken, your physical body is unable to function properly, and your mental health suffers as well. I despise my current situation. I wish I had the ability to instantly heal myself. The healing process is bizarre. There are days when I feel fine and… Continue reading I am tired of this “okay-then-not-okay” cycle as part of the healing process.
It is painful to know someone close to you chooses to cut ties with you.
It is painful to know someone close to you chooses to cut ties with you. You were used to hanging out, updating, and going through life together, but it all came to an end. After all of the memories you’ve made together, countless whys are probably racing through your mind because of what happened. I’ve… Continue reading It is painful to know someone close to you chooses to cut ties with you.
Accept it, even if proper closure will never be given.
Since the day you left, lots of questions have bothered my mind. Did I do something wrong that made you walk away? Have I said something inappropriate that made you leave? Will you still come back to explain why? Or perhaps restore what was (I don’t know if it was) broken? As time goes by,… Continue reading Accept it, even if proper closure will never be given.
Dear heart
Dear heart, Alam ko kung gaano kabigat ang dinadala mo ngayon. Ang hirap masanay sa mga bagay na panandalian lang pala. Ang sakit iwanan ng biglaan. Sana pwede ibalik ang nakaraan at magwarning sa sarili. Alam kong dumadating na sa punto na napapadasal ka nalang na sana pwede mong i-skip yung masakit na process. Sana… Continue reading Dear heart
“You do not deserve that bare minimum treatment.”
“You do not deserve that bare minimum treatment.” That’s what I used to tell my friends because I didn’t want them to feel unworthy. They had no idea I was putting up with this kind of treatment just to keep the one I loved. Isn’t that stupid? I suppose it’s true that love is blind.… Continue reading “You do not deserve that bare minimum treatment.”