Tell Me, What Are Your Intentions?

If i could describe in one word the wholeness of our relationship,
It would be none other than “uncertainty”.
Uncertain of what we really mean to each other.
Uncertain of what i really am to you.
Uncertain of what lies ahead for the both of us.

Would you take a penny for your thoughts?
Even a simple glimpse will do.
‘Cause you never do share, my love.
I doubt you even know how curious i am.

We’ve known each other for almost a decade.
But why do i feel like I’ve never actually known you?
To know your favorites, your secrets, your stories, your fears.
Of course, this is a huge thing to ask—
But also know that I’m willing to share mine, too.

I wanted you to ask me more.
I wanted you to be curious, to dig deeper until you reach my core.
I wanted you to know me more,
But it seems I’m only worth for shallow talks.

And it is a big risk—for the both of us.
We already exerted too much time, efforts, and emotions on this undefined relationship.
But even so, wasting this love would be a disaster.
And to miss you immensely is a torture i don’t want to bear.
I convince myself that everything will turn out fine.
But how should i know if our plans are even on the same page?

I would never rush you into something your heart’s not ready for.
I can wait despite of the oblivion. And i hate waiting.
Because the longer i wait, the more this confusion starts to enter my heart.
So tell me, what are your intentions?

If you don’t see me as a part of your plan, it’s okay.
I will not hold you back from leaving, again.
And if you do, i beg of you to never return.
You know how i don’t think twice of accepting you back.
So, please make it your resolve, as my last favor.

This is not a goodbye prose.
These are pieces of my complex thoughts finally put into words.
In the end, if things get out of hand, remembering my worth would be my only refuge.
And to forget you as if we’ve never met would not be regretful.