Who would’ve thought that I’d meet someone so memorable on a dating app?
As an introverted female with a work from home setup, a homebody, and a limited social life, I tried my luck on different dating apps to no avail. Maybe online dating is not for me, I’ve decided to quit when June arrives. In mid-May, when I saw your profile, it resonated with me, so I messaged you first and decided that you’d be the last person for whom I’d make the effort to make the first move. I never really expected a reply, but it came two hours later. It started our conversations, getting to know each other, and online movie dates. Communication on a daily basis without fail. I felt safe and comfortable with you, which I didn’t feel with others. Our values, personalities, and goals aligned. You were so easy to like, I already liked you on the second day. You were checking off all the boxes on my list of an ideal man. Imagine my surprise when I saw your dog on our first video chat, it was my favorite breed of dog. To me, it seems like these were signs from God. You were too good to be true.
Although I was hopeful that you were the one for me, I also knew that this may lead to heartbreak. I did not expect to experience this kind of heartbreak. You told me you’d just go for a motorbike ride. Twelve hours later, I heard the news that you didn’t make it home. I was devastated, wishing this was all a joke. The only thing I could do to confirm from the other side of the earth that you were truly gone was to see your family’s heartbreaking posts. A tragic day, one day just before your birthday. You chose to celebrate with God. How unfair of you. Me and your family were looking forward to celebrating with you. Now I should be content just sending a happy birthday message to the app we used, knowing full well that no one would read it and reply. And looking up, I said it out loud, “Happy birthday! I’ll miss you for sure.”
I’m glad that our last conversation was lighthearted and playful, and that I managed to make you laugh before you went out. Thank you for sharing your life with me, for the memories, and for showing that I am more than worthy. I have had a lot of realizations, learnings, and experiences since the day I met you. You were proof that my standards for men were never too high, they do exist.
Even though we didn’t say the “I love yous,”, the “I like yous” were enough for us to express that we were special to each other. I’m saddened by the idea that we’ll never know what our future would have been if you were still here. I’m still thankful to God that you became part of my life, even for just five weeks.
You knew that you were my first love, and though we didn’t have any labels, we were already exclusive. I am delighted and honored to be your last “love”. I’ll always cherish the affection you gave me.
I hope to meet you again in another lifetime, not in a long-distance relationship but physically present together.
Goodbye, my love. You’ll always be my first unicorn.