I wish I could hate you.
I wish I could look you in the eye and tell you I was hurt.
I wish I could make you feel what I felt.
I wish I could hurt you the same way you hurt me.
But I never could. And even if I can, I won’t.
Coz you might have broken my heart, but I don’t wanna break yours.
At first I couldn’t understand how someone could break you when they love you. Maybe someone broke you before. Maybe she took a part of your heart and never learned to grow it back. And I was left with the spare parts of you. And got wounded putting it all back. Maybe I gave too much of myself. Giving parts of me to fix yours.
But I want you to keep it. Keep the parts you chipped off. The memories, the laughter, the deep talks, the stares, and the smiles we share. Keep them all. It might be small, but those are parts of me I tried to fit into yours to make you feel whole.
May that be a remembrance of the love I gave. The love you deserve. The love you also can give.
And the only thing I can do now is pray. Pray that God will heal us both. Pray that God will give you the love you all so deserve. And pray that if time comes you will have to meet the one, you are healed and ready to give your whole heart.
Don’t worry about me. I have spared a part for myself and for the love I yet to find. But until then, I’ll grow in God’s love. I will let Him fill the void I have. I will let Him fill the love I lost. And I hope you will too.