Umamin na ako

Somewhere in Antipolo

Alam mo yung feeling na nafafall ka paunti unti sa isang tao?

Exhibit A: I’m very happy when we first start talking to each other. That pickup line “Ano ang tawag sa anak ng Sunflower?” may be corny yet effective. Nung una friends lang; no strings or emotions attached. Got to know you even more through conversation with no topics just enjoying the accompany of each other.

Exhibit B: Then we are now close. For a 3 month period of on/off chat, I do believe that we’re both enjoying each other. Because for a fact that we are on a different province and we still be talking. Saying “kamusta ka?”, “kumain ka na ba?”

Exhibit C: You know my stories and I know yours. Why tell me your stories? Is it because you are comfortable with me sharing those thoughts and agonies? I also tell you mine. My mishaps, my regrets, my passion, and my plans for myself.

Exhibit D: Then one day, you realize to send me those pics of yours that up until this very moment still engraved in my memory. And still, asking “why did she send these pics? Is she dropping the handkerchief or she is just being a jolly person?” Don’t get me wrong, those cute pictures you sent were cute AF. That is the first time I saw the cuteness overload you bear this whole time.

Exhibit E: Then one day, I decided to call you. And I’m glad that you answer. We started talking about random things, about your family, about mine not knowing that it will end up to an almost an hour-long phone call. Then I know you like this certain anime with the protagonist wearing a straw hat, then I told you that there is a game starting with this protagonist and his crew. So I show you via VC and later on we are now enjoying our video call. Talking to you for hours may be one of the right things I’ve done in my life.

Exhibit F: These video calls last for a whole week and I enjoy every minute of them. The stress I have after my work has been gone just by talking to you. And even after your phone broke down and the VC is impossible what did I do? Call you, like dial your number and hearing those ringback noises. And guess what? you picked it up. At that moment, I am the happiest man alive.

Exhibit G: Then I shared a post in regards to the newly opened National Museum. And then you message me, that you want to join me with your dorm mates. And I gladly said, “yes, why not? Ako na mag set kung kailan tayo lahat tayo available”. Did I plan anything other than going to the Natl Museum, of course. I want to be able to enjoy every minute that I’m with you. And come to think of it, a date in a museum would be ideal especially for this generation.

Exhibit H: You tell me you’re an artist. You like to sketch but because of work, you have no time for it anymore. You also told me that you want to have an inspiration for your passion. So I scour the internet to find places where I can take you to put flames again to your passion. And gladly I found one in Antipolo.

Exhibit I: I make myself clear to you. That I am very much interested in knowing you more. I show you some signals that I’m into you. Then weeks past and you ask me all of a sudden. “May feelings ka na ba sakin?”. “Meron”. I will lie if i say anything besides that, and I’m not a liar.

Exhibit J: A week passed, and now I’m the one that has the courage to ask. I do want to DTR (define the relationship). “Ok lang if we are not on the same page yet pero may plano akong ligawan ka”. That’s my line and I’m not that selfish to ask you to answer right now but I want to place myself. We talk about this for a couple of hours then the realization hits me.

Exhibit K: Now I know my place. but I’m glad that I confess and tell you my feelings. even though this is not what I want but I respect your answer, it hurts of course. And still, we’re both having our communication. And for who knows, maybe time and God has a plan for us. so I will stick by your side until our time comes. Until you let me be part of your life.

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