“Why does the Lord ask you to break up with him?” “If the Lord loves you, why does He break your heart?” (Some situation that breaks our heart may be used by God for our good–a part of our sanctification). These questions may be raised by people who do not know the weight of sin that one can commit in a relationship.
Actually HE didn’t.
God didn’t ask me to break up with my ex but HE wanted me to break up with my sins. HE didn’t want to break my heart rather HE wants to break my chains.
What are the broken chains that transformed my broken heart? (I’ve written it as an acronym C-H-A-I-N-S):
1. Collaboration with the world view It’s 2019, many things have changed over the years and they include how the world view relationship. Sad but true, we are living in a “ME” generation or “love wins” situation, where the value of relationship depends on what makes you happy. Thank God, He gave me eyes to look deeper and see that the Word must be followed than of the world’s. As the verse in Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect”. The Bible did not survive up to this day if its not reliable. The Word should be our standard of all things (may it be small or big). It should transform our lives. And this is all possible by setting up our actions to His design.
2. Hopelessness Sometimes it is easy to just go with the flow than to quit and cry. On the course of a pleasurable sin, I thought my case was hopeless, that God could not forgive me, that I could not be changed. But God is a loving Father, He forgives us as we ask Him forgiveness, He removes our record of sins as soon as we repent. I will not forget the time when I was just browsing through my facebook wall (trying to kill some self pity moments), I came along with this verse “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you” 1 Peter 5:10. Tears startedto fall from my eyes,I felt like it was God who was talking to me. I have held on to these words from the Lord, and sure enough, God has restored me and up to now He gives me strength and hope in everything. There is no hopeless case to God. It does not matter how you were in the past, what matters is what God can do to you now and in the future.
3. Anxiety I was a worrier in the past. I would always ask questions like “what might happen”, “what if” and “what could have been” in my mind. I was happy with my eight years relationship, contented and even thought he is ‘the one’, yet I do not have peace.By the time that I accepted Jesus as my Savior and Lord, I knew that my heart, mind and soul keeps on bugging me that something was not right, the flesh and the spirit kept on fighting inside of me and that made me anxious. But my verse bank says something about anxiety which is found in Philippians 4:6-7 “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” And so I did. I did pray for the removal of my anxiety. I prayed for peace. I prayed for strength. And I thank God because He never lets me down. He took all my worries away.
4. Idolatry In Exodus 20:3 God commanded, “you should have no other gods before me”. What are those gods that the Lord is talking about? These are the things that occupies our time, effort and love. It may be power and fame, money and possession, career and in my case, relationship. Eight years of being tied in my what-I-thought-is-forever, I gave so much time, emotion and efforts to him, not realizing that he became an idol to me because I thought about him most of the time than I thought of the Lord. I replied and sent messages to him than I talk to God in my prayers. Worst was I imagined I could not live without him. And all these thoughts turned around when I realized the essence of Lordship. I remember it was mentioned in my one to one session, “Jesus is our Lord of all or not at all”. This means surrendering EVERYTHING to Him and for Him. By putting our time, effort, energy, possession and emotion to the things that pleases God, He becomes our one and only idol.
5. Negligence While I was in wonder and wandering in my past relationship, I didn’t realize that I was neglecting the responsibility of being a good example to my friends, family and colleagues. I would want to share the gospel to the people around me yet I’m not showing it by my actions. I also became careless in the responsibilities that was expected of me. I became selfish. But upon reflecting, I was rebuked by this verse found in Proverbs 8:33, “Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it.” Being wise means making the right decisions, actions and words that would reflect the aura of Jesus. This means that when people see you, they will see and know that you really have Jesus in your life.
6. Security blanket Sad to say he (ex) was my security blanket. I did not worry or spent much on our dates, travels and even when I got short of my allowance. Whenever I had a problem with work or with my friends, I knew he was there ready to listen, to support or correct me. I know, its such a shame. My trust was in him which is so wrong. But I’ve learned my lesson. This verse from Jeremiah 17:7 reminds me where should we put our trust, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.” Why? Because He is our creator therefore He knows anything and will supply what we need; He is sovereign and can control anything according to His will; He is unshakable so does his promises. When I have fully put my trust in Jesus, I see changes in my heart and my perspectives in life. I tell Him in prayers everything that fears me, things that frustrates me, things that makes me happy. I praise Him in abundance and in little. I rejoice in answered prayers and even in waiting. Everything looks brighter now. All my chains (sins) were broken after whole heartedly and faithfully obeying God. It took me a year to finally decide to let go of the chains that binds me to spiritual death and holds me from loving God.
I am still in awe whenever I think of Jesus giving His life on the cross for me and my sins. He lived the life I should have lived and died the death I should have died. After three days He rose again proving that He is the Son of God and offering forgiveness to anyone who believes in Him.
I thank the Lord that He orchestrated ALL things to bring me back to Him. He found me and saved me for His glory.