So how do you bear the pain of being abandoned and betrayed?
Recently, I got disengaged. It was a moment that I never dreamt to happen to me. No woman would even dare to want to experience such terrible pain of losing those dreams, visions, and future you have built together.
When someone that you loved and trusted most would choose to walk out of your life and betray the trust which you have given and invested, how do you move on? How do you embrace the painful reality?
These are the things I am learning as I walk through this season:
1. I’ve learned that I AM NOT A VICTIM.
No matter the offenses of this person or no matter how deep the pain he has caused me, I have to see and know that I am not the victim of the situation. I am still responsible for my responses and I am accountable for my healing process. I’ve learned that I can never blame anyone or myself with the tragedy I am in. I have to decide that I will not be and will not stay as a victim but I will be victorious over the situation.
God gave me all the authority to forgive and release all offenses that hurt me. These offenses and this person has no control over my life and my decisions. I can completely decide by faith that this person is forgiven whether I feel like it or not.
You can overcome the painful offenses by simply practicing forgiveness.
2. I’ve learned that IT WILL ALWAYS TAKE TIME.
I remember that a broken bone, no matter how much aid and casts you give it, will still take time to completely be mended and healed. I can never do a short-cut in this healing process. I have to go through each phase and even respect my own emotions.
If you feel like crying, then cry. If you feel like being angry, then be angry. It’s by going through the right phases of emotional healing, that you bring true and lasting healing.
Many people try to mask their pain by the art of distracting themselves than facing and pondering upon what they truly feel. I’ve learned that I have to go through the darkest season of not even moving just for me to cry and to weep. The good news is that season of crying and weeping will come to pass. Time will also come that you will decide that it’s time to move on and walk away from where you were.
Don’t rush things. Take your time to heal.
3. I’ve learned that IT’S OKAY TO BE VULNERABLE.
There are times that you will wake up feeling all the anger, pain, bitterness, and rage within and you just want to cry the whole day. It’s okay to feel weak. It’s okay to be vulnerable.
In the many years that you’ve been independent and strong, sometimes God will break you and bring you to a position of vulnerability. It’s a position where you will be seeking help and the company of friends and family. I’ve learned that it’s okay to admit that you are afraid to be alone. It’s okay to admit you need people to hear you out and listen to your cries without any judgments.
4. I’ve learned that MY CALLING, MY IDENTITY, AND MY PURPOSE REMAINS THE SAME.
No matter how great the pain of loss I may have experienced, my identity as God’s child still remains. I still have my calling and purpose in the Lord. I’ve been broken and perhaps, one great dream has been shattered, but my capacity to dream and live out my purpose is still with me.
My identity, my purpose, and my calling are not wrapped in another person. God still qualifies you to be used for His kingdom. God still calls you as His child. He still sees you as His beloved.
5. I’ve learned that GOD’S STORY NEVER ENDS IN ASHES.
It is certain. You have a promising future. Your story doesn’t end there. In places of brokenness, God will meet you. His promise of healing and wholeness will always be certain. God’s story for those whom He loved and called always has a victorious ending. He turns all ashes into something beautiful. His power to redeem is always enough.
Beloved, look ahead. Greater things are yet to come over your life. It is for sure. He is not yet done with your story. Wait and have more hope for your future to be unfolded.