Is it my fault if I have trust issues?
Is it my fault if I doubt and stop believing?
Is it my fault to feel unloved and unworthy?
Is it my fault if I feel numb?
Is it my fault if have issues trusting people because of what I have experienced and what I’m still experiencing? Is it my fault if I always look for proofs and validation just to prove to myself that I’am wrong? Is it my fault that people around provoked me to be like that, Trusting no one, seeing everyone is the same and always looking for the worst outcome I could get?
Is it my fault if I doubt every praise, positive words and acknowledgement that was given to me? because I experienced to be praised and aknowledge by people who I thought that was true to me not knowing they just do it to make fun of me and just to make me believe that It was true even if its not. Is it my fault to stop believing to people, doubting their every words and actions and thinking they might just need something from me?
Is it my fault to feel unloved because no one chose and want me? No one make me feel to be his princess or to be his queen. No one tried, no one. Is it because of physical appearance? Or because I’m not that gentle and girly like barbie? Is it my fault if I felt unworthy of the things that a girl should feel, am I not worthy of anyone’s love and attention? Don’t do I deserve to experinced it also?
Is it my fault if I feel numb after all this things that I experienced ? Is it right to feel numb when I get hurt, even if its breaking me. Is it right to feel numb even if someone praises you? because you always thought they aren’t being true they are just playing it nice .Is right to feel unloved and unworthy of the things that you want to do because theres no one for you.
Is it my fault if got numb in all things, in believe nothing,in thought that your not wothy of anything, and assume that all the things that they may do towards you is just because they need something in return and feel I sorry that I always expect that people will do worst outcome towards me
Is it my fault if I stop believing theres someone for me? Someone that can make me believe that I’m wrong, someone that can make me feel like his queen and someone will show how worthy and lovely Iam.
Is it my fault if I grew up experiencing this from people around me and thats what makes me numb inside. To my future someone, I know I built walls but I am willing to wait until you find your way to my side.