My Love,
For the past 4 years I had wasted everything for the wrong man and I know this makes me less deserving for you. I am sorry for not waiting. Forgive me for failing to preserve myself and my all only for you. Even if I want to undo the times of being stupid and foolish for the wrong love, I just can’t do it anymore.
I am in a season right now where almost all the young women that I know are being chased and pursued accordingly. It breaks my heart that I wasn’t treated the right way during my last relationship. For 4 long years, there has been a cry in my heart. I am aching to know how it feels to be loved and recognized just like every girl’s dream.
It even became hard for me to open my facebook account. My newsfeed is flooded with girls bragging the way they are being loved and cared for by their other halves. And each time I see their posts, I can’t help but question my worth. I am always reminded that I was kept a secret and was deprived of the things I was supposed to feel and experience as a girlfriend.
This is probably the result of awakening love before its proper time. I know the word ‘sorry’ will never be enough to make up for everything that I have given and done for the past years. I’m sorry that I have loved someone beyond the capacity of my weak heart. Forgive me for pushing myself to be part of his life and for settling in a kind of love I do not deserve.
God always tells me to cry and let it all out ‘til my tears run dry. There were nights when I would wake up teary eyed because even in my dreams the pain continues to linger. But don’t worry because God never stops to comfort me with the warmth of His love. He is redeeming my time of being satisfied with Him alone. I know He is more than enough for me.
As of now I have no idea what you look like and what kind of man you are. I just know that God has handpicked the best for me. I am confident that you are a man who can accept my past, who will look beyond all my flaws and will love me with a Christ-like heart. Although there’s still a long way to go before we can finally meet, I have faith that God will give me glimpses of you as I abide in Him.
I want to be the woman God desires me to be once our paths finally cross. I am still a work in progress and I pray you’ll have more strength to patiently wait for me. For now, I will submerge myself deep into His love so that when our perfect time comes, I will be able to love you with all the love that you deserve. I know it’s never too late to save again my heart and soul for you.
Doing my best to be faithfully yours again,
A.