Since the day you left, lots of questions have bothered my mind.
Did I do something wrong that made you walk away?
Have I said something inappropriate that made you leave?
Will you still come back to explain why?
Or perhaps restore what was (I don’t know if it was) broken?
As time goes by, I keep on crying to the Lord for answers, a hint, a sign of why He allowed it to happen.
I can’t jump into acceptance (one of the 5 stages of grief), as I find it hard to process because the pain and anxiety are too much to handle.
I admit I stalk you sometimes to know how you are and maybe get some clues as to why, all of a sudden, proper goodbyes were never said.
I let you open the door in my heart even without the assurance that you’d stay.
I put my trust in something that is shallow.
I thought by taking the risk, things would work for the two of us.
But you ended up leaving without even closing the door properly.
As I was overthinking it, a piece of news came to me.
You are already trying to win someone.
You are going on dates and talking for hours like we did.
Regrets! I’m a fool to take the risk.
After I heard it, I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart multiple times.
I can’t believe that the person you are trying to pursue now is a friend of mine.
I admit I find it hard to cope with this pain.
It’s like “game over.” You’ve just been defeated. Stop waiting.
All the questions were answered.
The door that you left open will be painfully closed by me.
People come and go. Some leave smiles on our faces, but some leave scars we’ll carry forever.
That’s it. Just accept it, even if proper closure will never be given.
Photo by Jan Tinneberg on Unsplash