Yes, it indeed it very hard to accept things. Even if it happened a long time ago, I am still hurt. In pain. Why? Maybe because I couldn’t feel your sincerity when you said you were sorry. I hope you’re happy with what you are doing right now. I hope you’re know that you are the reason why I am afraid that one day my boyfriend would be taken away from me. I don’t have doubts. But of course, you can never stop me from thinking that thought. I trust my boyfriend fully.
When I first knew about what happened, I thought to myself, “Maybe it’s because the two were always together that’s why she developed feelings for him.” I never thought of you being attracted to anyone especially my boyfriend. I trusted you too. I did not say that you should not keep your feelings for yourself, but the fact that you didn’t even think of me. Your bestfriend. You made sure that what you would do wouldn’t hurt yourself, but you hurt others. And now you have the audacity to get mad at me for talking to you about that? Wow. Why is it my fault now? First of all, I’m not the one who liked another guy while my fiance is in another place. I am not the one who trashed my friendship with my bestfriend because I liked her boyfriend. I am not the one who ignored my bestfriend because I was hanging out with her boyfriend. I am not the one who befriended the sister of the boyfriend so I can get the support of his sister. How fun right? Second, why couldn’t you just approach me and talk to me about it. You among all people knows I am very open about everything. No matter what it may be. I am more than willing to help as long as I know you are not hurting other people. I was in pain. I cried every night. Yet, you just left me like that.
If you thought that giving me space is the only way to help solve the problem, you’re wrong. I was there when you needed my help. I was there to support you through your ups and downs. But on the days I needed you the most, you weren’t there. Yes, I need my boyfriend, but I need my bestfriend the most because I thought you would be there to comfort me and talk things out with me and help me understand why you did that. But no, instead, you were so busy trying to impress my boyfriend and talk nonsense when you are supposed to be talking to your fiance. Not once did you try to talk to me. I had to initiate the talk with you. And every time I try to, you would try to change the subjects or talk to me like it’s my fault it happened.
And now, you are the one blocking me because I am a toxic person in your life? Okay. I mean you are you. Just know, I am sorry that you are who you are now. I am sorry that I am far away from you to actually talk to you about things. I am sorry that I had to be the first person to say sorry. I am sorry if you think of me as a toxic person.
I forgive you and I will still always be here whenever you need me. Have fun and enjoy life 🙂
