WHEN YOU LEARN HOW MUCH YOU’RE WORTH, YOU’LL STOP GIVING PEOPLE DISCOUNTS.
We met in the most typical way but our chemistry was unexpected. It was like a magic. We became close, we opened up about each other’s past, about my trust issues and insecurities. For a short period of time, I tried to trust you wholeheartedly. I wanted to see you almost everyday, I even sneaked out just to be with you. It’s like I depended my happiness to you. I thought you will be the one for me, that you’re different. But months have passed,there’s little changes happened. Seems like you’re slowly backing out in my life and losing interest on me but I still acted like I didn’t notice. We met one day and I courageously asked you if there’s someone new. You said none. I tried to believe you. But changes became bigger. We seldom talked, you said you’re busy. I came to a point that I couldn’t handle it anymore. I confronted you and still you denied. From that time, I become the childish girl wanting for most of your time, I became clingy, needy and I couldn’t sleep cause of overthinking. But seems you really doesn’t care. You said I am just having trust issues with you that it was hard for you to always defend yourself though you’re a total innocent so you just wished me luck for my life and find what I really want cause I deserves it. But I still want you despite of knowing you obviously giving up. I was guilty, maybe you’re right, maybe I am just being paranoid, I blamed myself why I become like this. You got mad at me when I told you I will wait for you to meet me. I waited for hours but you didn’t come. I tried to understand maybe you had your reasons. Then, I wrote an apology letter for you, saying I was really sorry , I was just insecure and I begged for you to don’t give up on me, on us. I walked an hour to your front door just to give you my letter and I can apologize for my childish behavior personally. You were there inside. I was begging for you to open the door but you just messaged me to go home then you blocked me. I kept waiting right in your door but I guess you really have a hard heart. I waited for hours but you still didn’t open it knowing I was crying and begging for you to let me in for just a minute so we can talk. But you didn’t. I got tired. I just left the letter. I went home walking again with heavy and disappointed heart I thought you would appreciate my effort. While walking, I asked myself why I even did that. This is not me. Who am I, I wasn’t like this before. Because of loving you, I lost my self respect. I degraded myself for a guy who doesn’t even see my worth. Or I must say, me myself, I can’t see my worth. I forgot that I am the catch and I deserves someone who will truly pursue me.
From now on, I promise that I should save myself first before saving others. Never forget how you value by giving other’s worth. As they say, WHEN YOU LEARN HOW MUCH YOU’RE WORTH, YOU’LL STOP GIVING PEOPLE DISCOUNTS.
I’m still working on it to get my life back. To accept what happened. To free myself . To finally know my worth. To totally save myself from my own mistakes and wrong choice.
