My thought saw you once, twice, then many times.
Neither I felt anything special.
Few years passed,
You were mysteriously gone of my sight.
Now, my thought sees you more often.
More often to hear about you.
To hear about your growing relationship to one dear to me.
To someone who understands you even she’s far away.
It brought me two different emotions;
Happy that you are around and sad because you are not mine.
My thought knows that my heart is,
Hurt.
Jealous.
Hopeful.
My thought asks why?
Why now my thought?
My thought prays for this feeling to pass.
My thought prays that God will not create any moment that I can think of you.
My thought prays that this unpleasant feeling be gone.
My thought prays for clarity.
Your friendly touch brought me inner spark.
But deep inside my thought cries.
Because you are not really mine.
You cannot be mine.
I hope for even a moment that my name will cross your thought,
Those moments we had.
So little.
So passionate.
Those crazy and possibly special to both.
Time grows organically,
I am not just seeing you in my thought.
Our God must be good to bring us both,
To this same moment,
To this same thought.
Speak my thought.
Speak.
Tell me what is the real thought?
Tell me please.
I am listening.
These private pains I bare.
The scars I concealed.
I may fail the love I thought to complete me,
But letting go is the best way.
They are both dear to me.
Coming to my senses I thought,
This is not the best love for me.
To him, I am just one thought.
If only it’s easy to let go.
I can end my thoughts right now.
Right at this moment.
Who is deserving of my love and thought?
O purify my thought that I may respond ultimately to Your love.
Away from being jealous, hurt and false hopes.
My thought could respond,
Away from God, my thought is not purified.