We got lost from the moment I realized the feeling was true
You left unaware, how I wish I could tell you
Took us a decade to have the courage
Revealing unspoken thoughts that made our hearts and souls ravaged
Both minds fed up with these sh*tty “what if’s”
What if I told you I’m falling when you stopped pursuing?
What if you never left?
What if I said everything I felt?
What if you waited my sweetest “yes”?
I had no clue how I made an impact towards your life back then
When you chose distance as I kept my silence
Every time we relish each others existence
Voices in our heads screamed hopes and chances
Years have passed but our eyes always speak for us
The possibility of being together is totally unjust
Knowing the fact, we’re already building our future with somebody else
Better enough to remain our relationship as friends
Maybe alternate universe was only created to remind our regrets and the things we never did before
Such as the idea of you are mine and I am yours
I remember Robin Scherbatzky quoted “timing’s a bitch”
I guess we are extremely victim of it
STORY TIME:
“In a parallel universe
Everything in reverse
Maybe you could be mine
In a parallel universe
Where timing is kind to us
Maybe we would be alright”
Parallel Universe – Clara Benin
I dedicated this poem to someone who has a special place in my life. We were classmates’ way back in college, year 2014. We have this strong circle of friends that lasted for almost ten years. Great memories have shared especially after class and even today that we’re already reached the adulting phase. Those unplanned inuman sessions every weekend when things did not go well with our previous romantic relationships. As a group, we always make sure to celebrate our small achievements and birthdays despite of our busy schedule. As the usual happenings in the barkada. Time has passed and a lot has happened in our lives between those years not until one time, when that “someone” drove me home past midnight right after my friend’s party. Since there are only two of us in that moment, we took the opportunity to open up our crazy situation before. Quite surprised knowing that we’ve been keeping our unspoken feelings to ourselves for the longest time and we’re just waiting for the perfect chance to say anything towards each other. When we were almost near in our house, he initiated the confession by telling me that I’m his TOTGA (funny, he’s my t.o.t.g.a too).
The conversation was kind of an ending scene in a movie wherein no one’s around, no physical touch, just the two of us having some deep talks, laughs and life realizations with sad music in the background. Lol. Just to make things short, he never knew I liked him too when he decided to stop courting me. It took me almost two years to figure out that I’m already falling for him. Little did I know, within those couple of years of secretly admiring him, he still wants me in which I’m unaware of. He just moved on and started to accept that us being together is less likely to happen knowing that we became friends. We were very coward and afraid back then. He told me that he was too torpe that’s why it’s hard for him to try whereas I, was too afraid to get rejected once I’m ready to confess my feeling. There were moments before when I really wanted to tell him, but I didn’t. The worst part of that is us hating ourselves for not doing anything and nothing is worse than regretting something that you wish you had done but didn’t. As much as we wanted to value and protect our unbreakable friendship/circle, we know many things have changed.
It was a hella roller coaster emotion after we talked about it. A lot of “what if’s”. But yeah, destiny is kinda playful sometimes. We know that it might be weird and awkward if we would still hang out in the future because of the unexpected and unplanned confrontation. No matter how painful it can be, we’ve both agreed to refrain everything about us, and we should avoid seeing each other since both of us have our own long-term relationship/partners. Yes, it does hurt losing a friend but sometimes, you must decide properly for your sanity. So yeah, Nothing good happens after 2AM. (HIMYM fans, iykyk) Maybe, someday, if our paths crossed again, we’ll forget that this happened and we’ll just laugh about it. Hopefully.
“O, wag kang tumingin
Nang ganyan sa ‘kin
Wag mo akong kulitin
Wag mo akong tanungin
Dahil katulad mo
Ako rin ay nagbago
Di na tayo katulad ng dati
Kay bilis ng sandaliO, kay tagal din kitang minahal
O, kay tagal din kitang minahalKung iisipin mo
‘Di naman dati ganito
Teka muna teka lang
Kailan tayo nailangKung iisipin mo
‘Di naman dati ganito
Kay bilis kasi ng buhay
Pati tayo natangay”Burnout – Sugarfree
