So I was living on the same house hold with my ex’s cousin. We treated each other like real cousins as we have been together for quit some time. We live normally for years. Been ironing his hair, helping him on his homeworks. Doing this and that. I even picked his graduation suit. Until one day, this stupid feeling inside me grew.
Akala ko pwedeng maiwasan ang issue given na halos kaibigan, pinsan na yung turingan namin. Until one day, we were teased – na baka at the end kami pa. Tinawanan ko lang nung una pero napatingin ako sa kanya and I realized, eto yung gusto ko. Siyang siya.
Tried to hide the feelings for quite some time until one day, one night. I was a little sober and I kissed him. Out of the blue. Yes. Parang tanga. Then he replied “lasing ka na ata brad. ” I wanna reply and say, “no, I want this, I do. ”
It doesn’t end there. We end up inside our room. We almost make out. Yeah, almost. But the “thing” didn’t happen. Sayang! Haha. Honestly. But the next day was total awkwardness.
We didn’t talk. We don’t even look at each other’s eye. I said I’m sorry (hindi ko alam if tama yun. I feel so awkward) And he replied, “no, it’s okay. I’m sorry, too. Let’s move on. ”
I was kinda hoping that was it but all I have was hope. Umasa. Hopia. Until now, I continue to love him secretly although we are now back to normal – acting like before. Walang malisya.
I know mali, may mga bagay talagang hindi dapat ipilit. Kahit gaano natin to kagusto.
